More Vacation
You know your kid has spent too much time with the Oregon drunks when he holds up his glass of apple juice and asks if you want to do a shot. I had to ask him to repeat himself because I was sure I didn’t understand. But no. I understood perfectly. And so did the guy sitting at the table behind us. At least someone got a good laugh. I would laugh but I sort of find it upsetting that he’s three and he’s learned about doing shots. No more Oregon for him, ever. And my mom wonders why I won’t send him out there alone for a summer.
Speaking of silly kid stuff, the other day the zoo was hosting some sort of youth camp. There were some tween girls in the bathroom hanging on my every word. My every word goes something like this: Keep it in the bowl! Don’t swing it around! KEEP IT IN THE BOWL! That’s gross! Don’t touch the toilet with it!
Don’t you mothers of girls wish you had a little boy?
Later, I heard one of the girls telling all her friends “The mom kept saying “keep it in the bowl!” Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! But she didn’t say it once. Nor did she say it twice. She said it about a million times. Every time I walked by the group she was shouting “Keep it in the bowl!”
If you read a tween blog about a mom and her kid at the zoo talking about keeping it in the bowl, you know where it came from. I’m glad I could be so amusing.
We back tracked today and went up to the Natural Bridge. It was nothing short of awe inspiring. The history is pretty amazing, too. George Washington was the first graffitti artist. He carved his initials in the face of the rock when he surveyed the area for King George III. Later it was purchased by Thomas Jefferson and used as a tourist attraction.
I don’t know how the place went from fancy to kitsch, but the current owners have some explaining to do. Nothing can take away the wonder of the actual Natural Bridge or the walk down to it, but the rest of the tourist attraction is pure tacky. They’ve got this Toy Museum that is pretty nasty. It looks like it hasn’t been dusted since the toys were originally put in place. The newest display was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles so I guess that would be circa 1984? We sped through there, trying to avoid the creepy doll heads. The place was “no touching” which was fabulous for a three year old.
There was also a wax museum, haunted museum and secret dinosaur land but we didn’t elect to go into any of those. The signs look like they were put up in the 1950s and haven’t been updated since then. I can only imagine what the displays were like.
There was a small living history Native American village down by the bridge itself and that wasn’t too cheesy. There was an actual Native American girl working there who was really excited by everything. There was also a white girl working there who was less than excited. I wanted to smack her.
I’m sure the owners make a ton of money, but I was re-planning the whole place in my head. I would make the hamburger joint down by the creek a fancier restaurant that was open to the public. It is a gorgeous setting and could be quite the destination dinner. I would get rid of the toy museum and put in either a real Native American museum or rent out spaces to local artisans. It seems a shame to waste such a beautiful spot on pure kitsch.
Afterwards, we drove a little more on the Blue Ridge Parkway and just enjoyed nature. The whole day reminded me of days spent at church camp, the only times I’ve really been out in nature walking around. I need to go to church camp! Only without the church and with more comfortable beds. I guess normal people would call that cabin camping?
For dinner we went to the most disgusting restaurant ever. It was a buffet/Mongolian grill. I figured that no matter what, the Mongolian grill had to be good. I was wrong. So, so very wrong. They hardly had anything to put on the grill. No pineapple, no tomato, no carrots, no dippers for the sauces. They had a few sauces, but they just had regular tablespoons in them. How are you supposed to dip out a bunch of yummy with a tablespoon? The waitress was a surly young woman who shouldn’t have anything to do with the public. Even the dessert bar was disgusting. I got a brownie that looked like it came straight from a box of Little Debbies. Somewhere along the line the bottom had soaked in something red. It was nasty. Even Erik, who has no qualms about eating anything sugary, took one bite and refused any more. He wouldn’t eat any of the ice cream either. It is a sad, sad state of affairs when a kid won’t even eat the ice cream. I’ve been taking pictures of every place we eat because I thought it was funny, but I refused to take pics of that place. Nasty. I thought about having Erik give it two thumbs down, but didn’t think, he would cooperate.
Tomorrow we’re going to the peach festival in middle of Roanoke. I don’t know what it will entail, but I imagine there will be lots of peach flavored items. I am not a particular peachy fan, though a fresh peach is divine. I guess we’ll see what it is all about when we get there!