Queen of Rambles

Four days with no posts from me? Is that even possible? Kisha says it is so I guess it is.

Don’t worry. I don’t have the swine flu or cancer or anything weird. I do have a bum knee and no laptop, so that’s kept me up the stairs and away from the computer. I think my seat was pushed too far forward on the drive to the coast because ever since then my knee has been in major pain whenever I sit, stand or go up and down stairs. We live in a three story town house so that hasn’t been very pleasant. It’s doing better today, so hopefully by Thursday I can get back into my exercise routine.

Not only haven’t I been posting, I haven’t been to the gym! I’ve been twice in the past two weeks. Did you know I’m addicted to endorphins? When I don’t get them I get cranky. Guess who’s been cranky? Plus, guess who just had a period? So guess who was super cranky? And angsty? And full of self-loathing?

See, I’ve just been sparing you all the re-hash of why I hate myself. The reason never changes.

I did story hour at my house today, which went really well. This time Erik announced that he wasn’t going to miss all the fun (last time he hid in his room). I did everything I could to facilitate his desire to cooperate, including pulling out all the unpacked boxes in our sewing room in a desperate attempt to find his Swiper costume. I was wearing a Mother Goose costume so he wanted his Swiper costume. I found it. He wore it. Everyone thought he was the Big Bad Wolf. Happiness was had by all. Except the kid who kept getting in trouble. But it wasn’t my kid, so it didn’t have to stress me out.

It’s been in the 90s the past couple of days, which is another reason I’ve had no energy to do anything. We got a blow-up pool and a sprinkler. I bought a weird, wiggly sprinkler with the thought that it would be handy for large numbers of children. I didn’t think about the size of my yard vs. the wiggliness of the sprinkler vs. the number of moms standing around. If I had saved the package I would return it because I don’t think the moms will all want to get soaked. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a bit of water when it’s 94 out but I’m always hot.

The blow up pool also sucks. The pump didn’t work well so I blew it up with my mouth. The danged thing had about five different blow holes, not even counting the blow up slide. Today? Well, today the poor thing is looking a bit . . . unfluffy. I went ahead and filled it half way with water at the urging of the child, only to be told that he didn’t want to get wet. He wanted the hose on. He wanted the pool filled. But he didn’t want to get wet. No amount of coaxing, splashing, or squirting could convince him that cold water was the perfect solution to a hot summer’s day. Silly kid.

It finally cooled down enough to do a little bike riding this evening. He chose his trike even though my mom bought him a little bike with training wheels while she was here and he does ok on it. He went around the loop a few times when we were suddenly bombarded with shoeless, shirtless urchins who acted like they’d never seen a bike before in their lives. They appeared to be 1, 2, 3 and 4 years old. I briefly saw their mother step out on the porch with a sports bra and a giant pregnant belly. They attacked Erik, demanding turns to ride. I wanted to share because I believe in sharing, but the situation was not great. I felt sorry for them, but I also knew that if I gave an inch they would take a mile. Even if I didn’t give an inch they would take a mile.

At one point a car tried to get through and the youngest kid wouldn’t get out of the road so I had to physically hold him. He didn’t like that and neither did I. I was cursing his mother, sure she was going to try to sue me for child abuse.

Then Erik had to poop.

I tried to shoo the kids away, but the youngest was on Erik’s bike and would not get off. I had to take him off and he had a full blown temper tantrum. I got him in front of his house and just assumed the older kids would take care of him. Erik was saying the turd was coming out his butt (it didn’t, praise be) and I wanted to get out of there.

Erik wanted to go back out after he pooped, but I wouldn’t take him. He finally convinced Mike to take him on a walk, but I wouldn’t let them take the bike. If it had just been on kid that would have been one thing, but to have four little kids–innocent to be sure–who are dying to ride it and have no adult to help guide them? Not a good idea.

That’s all I’ve got tonight. I hope my computer arrives tomorrow. It was shipped FedEx Ground on Friday from Richmond, VA so I expect it to show up at any time.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 27th, 2009 at 9:26 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.