I Hate Quilting
There’s a title you never thought you would read here, but at this moment I am D-O-N-E! DONE! I hate all the stupid quilt book authors who can’t explain things in simple terms. I hate all the stupid quilt book authors who don’t check their math. I hate me for checking my math twice, thrice, (fice?) and STILL screwing it up because nothing makes sense. I hate joining quilting groups and then screwing the hell out of someone’s block because I am STUPID.
I do feel slightly better knowing my husband, a guy who is just about as close to a rocket scientist as you can get, read and re-read and still had a very hard time pin-pointing the problem. Pin-point he did, but it STILL doesn’t make sense to me. In one part of the directions it says one thing and in the next part it says something else entirely.
If this was my own quilt I would have had my scissors out, cutting it into little shreds by now. I haven’t a clue how I’m going to fix it and I need to fix it quick. I’m going out of town this weekend and have to have it in the mail by next Friday. I’ve been working and working and working and WORKING my ass off on this thing and have nothing but misery and mistakes to show for it.
I feel sick about the whole thing.
BAH!!!!!!
It’s really stupid to go on a crying jag when you have a cold. I don’t need anything to aid in snot production.
Also, if your lips are sort of chapped the salty tears won’t help anything.
To top it off, I have Erik’s costume in the back of my mind and I still have no fucking clue how I’m going to make a giant Swiper tail. I can’t even back out of this because he is obsessed with the costume and wants to try it on every single day, even though it is not even started yet.
Calgon, take me away!
Other than that, today has been pretty good. I need to calm down. Let me tell you something funny or at least innocuous.
If any of you parent young children, you probably watch some Noggin or Nick Jr. If you do, you know that Dora is going to save the Ice Princess on November 3! They’ve been advertising that damned cartoon episode for months and Erik has been paying attention. He cries and begs for the princess and doesn’t understand release dates and patience.
In preparation for our trip this weekend, I went to the children’s DVD section of Target. We’re hoping to put Erik in a DVD coma most of the way so we don’t have to listen to him scream or cry. Guess what? For the low, low price of $14.99 you can own your very own Dora Saves the Ice Princess DVD!
Erik saw it first and went ballistic. Princess! Princess! I can’t stand paying money for things I can record with my DVR, but there was no way I was getting out of buying this particular DVD. He rarely asks for anything other than candy, so I didn’t feel too guilty about getting him something I knew he would enjoy.
Ok, I’m starting to feel a lot calmer about that damned quilt thing. I guess I better take a few deep breaths and get back upstairs and get it done. I don’t have time to indulge myself in a temper tantrum right now.
Wait. . . wait. . no. . . I’m not feeling calmer. Maybe I can rip some of my hair out to feel better. I wish we had some chocolate. I may be reduced to eating cocoa powder mixed with granulated sugar. These are desperate times, my friends.
October 21st, 2008 at 8:10 am
Your story reminds me of putting together my devil IKEA cabinet devil thing. I fumed for an hour, wondering how stupid I could be that I couldn’t figure the damn thing out. And then I finally called IKEA, and it turns out, IT WAS THEIR DAMN FAULT. They gave me the wrong damn piece. (Apparently I’m not over this) So, Carrie, at this point…. the pattern must be screwed. IT IS THEIR DAMN FAULT.
sarahcool’s last blog post..Kellllllllllllllllllly!
October 21st, 2008 at 8:29 am
In the interests of enabling your chocolate dreams, I post this recipe:
MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
1 Coffee Mug
4 tablespoons flour(that’s plain flour, not self-rising)
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons baking cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
some nuts (optional)
Small splash of vanilla
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes on high. The cake
will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT!
October 21st, 2008 at 8:41 am
Costume – I’m not sure if your problem is the tail’s need to stand up, but if it is, you could use loops of elastic around his shoulders to hold it up? At his age, I wouldn’t have a tail on the ground since it would be a tripping hazard for other kids.
I got to sew an Incredibles logo for Bun, and I have to make a Greek toga for Offspring, so you have my sympathies! I don’t usually make costumes – I buy really cheap ones at Goodwill.
Mommyprof’s last blog post..Quandry of the day
October 21st, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Make a frame for the tail out of coat hanger or lightweight wire, cover with fabric (or even cut up pantyhose & tie to the wire), then use fishing line to secure the top to the main body of the costume and make a ‘belt’ of elastic or industrial strength velcro. Or just make a short tail that hangs down and make him a mask and find little gloves. He’s 3 – it doesn’t have to be perfect.
October 21st, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Girl! Hang in there. I’m feeling you after the week I’ve had. I think if I just sat down and cried I’d feel a lot better.
October 22nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Quilting math makes my head hurt – especially when you have to figure it out for a triangle. Makes me queasy just thinking about it!
I feel your pain about the Dora thing. For months they advertised the movie Cars. My son would watch the ad and whine and wail to go to the movie theatre to see it. Why do they build it up sooo much? The marketing powers-that-be should be forced to live with a three year old in that state for a few days. That’ll change things in a hurry!
Sit down, eat some chocolate and try not to get too stressed out. **hugs**