Queen of Rambles

Mike got up late this morning, which meant Erik and I got to take him to the train again. For some reason, I was out of cereal. This classifies as a national, or at least local, or maybe household, emergency. I must have food. I must have specific food. I must have my Great Grains Pecan cereal or I will be one grouchy mama.

I am not a morning person, but I’m also not a caffeine person. I know caffeine would help me get through the day, but I hate coffee unless it comes as a little drip in a big cup of chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

As I was driving Mike down to the train station, a plan formed. Go to Safeway. Get a pumpkin spice latte. Buy cereal.

Silly me!

Whenever I go to Safeway the Starbucks is always the home of a bored looking girl who is doing nothing. I’ve never been to Safeway at 8 in the morning before. No one behind the counter is looking bored at that hour. I had to forgo the caffeine. No pumpkin spice latte is worth enduring a snakey, 20 person like with a preschooler in tow.

Is this how people live out there in the real world? I’ve always been asleep or teaching during the 8 o’clock hour. I’ve never been one to add an errand into my morning routine. I usually had to be at work by 7:30, which meant I would get up at 6:30 and pray that not one single thing would go wrong along the way. I’m not one of those people that hits snooze over and over. When I’m up, I’m up. I don’t want to be awoken one minute sooner than necessary.

In other news, I’m full of nasty zits. I want Mike to take a hammer and hit my earlobe as hard as he can. It’s got the biggest, grossest, swollenest zit I’ve ever seen. I’ve tried squeezing, which resulted in a purple ear lobe. I’ve tried poking it with a needle, which resulted in a surprising amount of blood and a big scab. I tried rubbing it down with rubbing alcohol which didn’t result in much. I need some On the Spot treatment for it and the rest of my post-cold-pre-company-coming-for-dinner-tomorrow-night face. I’m 34. I’m too old for this shit.

And the people coming over for dinner? Skinny and beautiful Swedes. I’m sure they won’t have fat ass zits on their pretty faces. They are very nice people and fun to hang around, but they make me feel so inferior just by their existence. When I see people as skinny as this woman, I only have one question: where are her organs??? Seriously. Do you guys know what I’m talking about? You see a woman with such a thin waist that it seems impossible there could be anything more than a layer of skin, a thin layer of muscle, a spine, another layer of muscle and another layer of skin. How is there room for intestines and utes and livers and all that good stuff? I guess I can keep pondering the question. I’ll never find out first hand. My gut is here to stay and there doesn’t seem to be anything I can do about it.

So, who’s watching Tru Blood on HBO? I wanted to watch something after Erik went to sleep, but didn’t have anything exciting on the DVR. I decided I wanted to watch Friends. It’s been a long time since I enjoyed an episode, so I figured I would flip through hundreds of channels and find an episode. I guess I’m a couple of years too late for that instant Friends gratification. I could have watched Seinfeld, Dirty Dancing, or even Walker, Texas Ranger, but there was no Joey Tribbiani. Boo! I had the bright idea to check OnDemand, and somehow I ended up watching a hick vampire show while Mike sat on my lap. It was a strange evening.

I think I’ll continue to watch. I was prepared to scoff at all the vampire cliches and silliness, but guess what? There weren’t any, really. It was set in Hicksville, Louisiana with trashy looking sets, costumes and cars. Nothing sleek, nothing chic. The vampire got less face time than most of the characters. It’s not at all what I expected (my sole bit of information going into it was “vampire show.”) I’d like to see more.

Now I have to go to bed and hope a vampire doesn’t get me. Scary! Maybe Erik will protect me.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 19th, 2008 at 9:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.