Danger, Will Robinson!
Why was it cold the last week of pool season and now it is so hot I am going to die? Yet, there can be no swimming unless I want to pay $10 for the over chlorinated pool that’s a 15 minute drive away. Bah humbug!
Instead, we were stupid and went to a park in the middle of the afternoon. Who does that? No one, that’s who! We were the only people there, which was very disappointing because it meant Mike had to run around with Erik instead of laying on a bench, enjoying having a preschooler who doesn’t need help with every single thing.
When we got there, Erik started grabbing his wiener so we knew he had to pee. They only have an outhouse at this park and Erik is terrified of it, so I figured it would be ok to have him pee behind a tree.
He won’t stand up and pee, so I have to make a seat with my arms and have him sit in it. No problem. Except he squeezed out a gooey turd! That was not part of the plan. I cleaned it up and it was gross. Yuck.
As I was walking back from the garbage can, my ankle twisted and I fell, landing face down in the mulch. The mulch is deep and broke my fall, but it is also very pokey. I was so not in the mood. Mike just looked at me and said he wished he had a camera. Apparently I wasn’t screaming enough to warrant concern. “You look like a worm!” Yay. That’s what I’ve always wanted to hear.
Erik, being the little helper that he is, came over and started trying to pull me up. I was a bad mommy and snapped at him, then felt guilty the rest of the day even though he forgot about it five seconds after it happened.
I was hot and pokey and hurt and blah, so I found the coolest place available and sat there being the bitchiest bitch in the history of bitchy wives. Mike’s a lucky, lucky man. Ok, so I wasn’t really a bitch. I was just lazy and grouchy.
When it was finally time to go, I stood up and banged my head, HARD, on the corner of a metal beam. If Mike wanted real screaming, he got it, along with oceans of tears. My head was ringing and pounding at the same time. Yay for klutzes!
Last year around this time, we went to that park and I fell off one of the landings, probably about a three foot drop. I’m beginning to really hate that park.
I need to stop being so crabby. Any bets on when my period arrives?