Irritable
I’m feeling quite irritable tonight and think a giant somethingorother of chocolate would make me feel more human. Only we have no chocolate. And I know it would only help for a few seconds, then I would need more and more and more and more and one day I wouldn’t be able to fit out the door. I just need to close my eyes, breathe deep, and picture my face after Zumba today. It’s always a good workout, but today there were no new songs, which meant no little break while we learned the steps. She had three fast songs in quick succession, and suddenly my face was as bright as a tomato, my entire body was covered with a flood’s worth of water and I was DYING! I do not need to negate the effects with chocolate. Right? Ugh.
I’m very irritated at our real estate agent. Mike found him through a guy at work and he’s supposed to be a great negotiator blah blah blah.
I pictured the real estate buying process happening like this:
We go in, tell the guy what we want, get approved for our loan, then have the guy call us when he has a few houses to show us that meet our specifications.
So far, it has gone like this: we tell the guy what we want, get approved for the loan, he has us set up to get automatic e-mail updates of every house in our price range, he tells us to drive by houses we are interested in, he sets up visits of houses of our choosing. Houses of our choosing SUCK! Shouldn’t he be weeding these houses out for us? Shouldn’t there be a secret real estate code somewhere for “smells like cat piss and the bathtub is about to fall through the ceiling?” Isn’t it his job to vet the properties and only bring us ones we might consider buying?
When we moved out to G-Town a few years ago we went to an apartment locator service. I was skeptical, but figured if the guy asked for money we would run out the door. The man listened to our wants and our lifestyle, pulled up a bunch of stuff on his computer, circled the apartment complex that we are now living in and said “this is where you want to live.” He also gave us a few more options to look at, but told us he knew we would end up here. Sure enough, here we are. It met our every need and would have continued to meet our needs if we were willing to give up quilting or the kid. That guy only got a $300 finders fee. Our real estate agent is going to get a barrel of cash. Shouldn’t he do some of the foot work? Or am I totally off base? I’ve never bought a house before so maybe this is the way things are done. TV is not always the best educator.
We’ve been quite the social animals this week. Last week I put a bunch of books on freecycle (I would go through paperback swap, but I can’t stand reading used paperbacks. They feel dirty) and one of the respondents was a woman in my moms group. She has older kids so her schedule doesn’t really mesh with ours and she has been to very few events. I let her know we would be doing another purge this weekend and invited her over for a book sampling/playdate and today was the big day. Her son is almost exactly a year older than Erik, but he’s huge! He is a very nice little boy and she is a great mom. She didn’t let him get away with anything and he wasn’t mean or anything and I could see us hanging out with them again. However, I was not prepared for the physical aspects of a boy twice Erik’s size in my tiny little living room. He never did anything that Erik isn’t allowed to do, but it was just so. . . big! And loud! I’m going to have to steel my nerves as Erik gets older. Erik is more physical than his other playmates, so I’m used to Erik being the only one that can climb up on the couch and get into trouble. Still, very nice people!
Erik learned a new trick that is going to give me several gray hairs. We have a little foam children’s sofa sitting at the end of our regular couch. The new thing is to lean over the arm of the couch, kick off, and do a somersault onto the little sofa. Erik is so short I was sure he would break his neck, but he didn’t so I guess it’s ok. If we ever do have another child, it needs to be a girl. I don’t know if my heart can take another boy. Though at this point I have no idea what I would do with a girl, which is ironic because until the day Erik was born I was terrified by the idea of having a boy.
I guess I better go to bed. No telling if the boy is going to let me sleep tonight or not. As Julie mentioned, his little cheeks are all chipmunked out and he is eating constantly, so I know he’s about to shoot up a couple of inches. Hopefully it will all be in his legs so his new shorts won’t look quite so ridiculous. He can wear 24 month tops just fine, but the shorts look Urkle-ish. Yesterday he found a pair of 6-9 month red shorts in the pile for my sister. His diaper was off, so he pulled the pants on and they fit. They were a tad snug and a tad short, but they looked a whole lot better than the 24 month shorts.
I’m very relieved to hear from all of you that you don’t think 3 is as rough as 2. The screaming is just about on my last nerve. He can be the happiest kid in the world one minute and the next he is on the floor in a puddle, with his mouth open and demon noises erupting like invisible fire. At the beginning of the day I can laugh about it, but by 2:30 or so I am DONE. He’s been spending a lot of time in his crib, but he thinks it is a trampoline so doesn’t even understand he is being punished. I need to re-think this crib-as-time-out place idea.
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
not to say that a girl can’t give one just as many gray hairs as a boy… Kem on the kitchen table? Kem reaching up to take a KNIFE off the counter, where she has never ever been able to reach before today!?!? Ay caramba!!
beck’s last blog post..20 Q
April 24th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Hmmm - my real estate agent was a family friend, so I don’t know if my experience was abnormal, but he gathered my info (price, desires, etc) and some chick at his company put together a list of 10 condos that fit, and he and I drove to all of them and checked them out. I didn’t do any of my own work. Also, I was 23, so, take that for what it’s worth…. maybe he assumed (correctly) that I would not want to be searching all by myself.
sarahcool’s last blog post..KARA aka GOLDSTAR aka BLACK*DIAMOND
April 24th, 2008 at 11:13 am
We gave the realtor our price range and within a week she had about 10 properties to show us. We scheduled a Saturday and looked at houses all day. Same thing again the next Saturday. We didn’t do any mortgage approval up front and it wasn’t a problem. I think you need a new realtor. Good luck!
April 24th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Yeah, buyers’ agents. Well, if you are not happy with the one you have, it is a buyers’ market right now. Interview several before you commit yourself to any one of them. We have had two buyers’ agents, one of whom sucked big-time and one of whom was okay but not great. The first one let us buy our first house, even though the builder was a known scumbag and CURRENTLY BEING SUED BY THE STATE for the problems with the houses in the development WE BOUGHT INTO. This was during the boom, so he was busybusybusy - too busy for us - his assistant (NOT a licensed realtor, but a glorified secretary) did most of the job of taking us around and showing us stuff. The second one was a friend of a relative, and she did a better job but ultimately didn’t do the screening you are talking about. We did that. She told us her approach was to give us information and let us make the decisions, but we were hoping for someone a little more directive. Our selling agent, on the other hand, was GREAT. She was a total virago who held our feet to the fire, but ultimately that allowed us to hold out for the best price, even in a softening market.
As first-time buyers, you are babes in the wood and you need to adjust accordingly. Go out there and look around as much as you can (open houses mostly). Drive-bys tell you nothing except can you stand the neighborhood. If you want your buyers’ agent to do walk-throughs and eliminate potential houses if they do not meet x, y, and z criteria, tell him that and tell him if he’s not willing to do it, you are going to part company. Pick certain neighborhoods that you want to live in, would be able to live in, and might be able to live in, list them, and give them to the agent. Yes, maybe they will be out of your price range, but if you just can’t live any further out, then there’s no point looking, is there? Plus even the hoity-toitiest neighborhood (except maybe 90210!) has starter housing somewhere.
THEN, once you get into the buying process, hire A REAL ENGINEERING FIRM and NOT a “home inspector” who took a couple hours of courses before getting some cheapo certification to do your home inspection. Yes, it’s much more expensive, but it is WORTH IT. Make them do their thing - climb on the roof, look in the basement, flip every damn light switch and thump every wall. The most important thing to keep in mind is that this is a business transaction, and you have to treat it as such, even when your heart is telling you “this is it!” You gotta pull up your big girl pants and be a bitch at times, but in the end, you will have the satisfaction of getting a house at a fair price and not getting D*CKED OVER (as you can tell I’ve had some bad experiences in this arena, and if I can spare you the same….) GOOD LUCK.
Caroline’s last blog post..Alternate Realities
April 24th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Yeah, buyers’ agents. Well, if you are not happy with the one you have, it is a buyers’ market right now. Interview several before you commit yourself to any one of them. We have had two buyers’ agents, one of whom sucked big-time and one of whom was okay but not great. The first one let us buy our first house, even though the builder was a known scumbag and CURRENTLY BEING SUED BY THE STATE for the problems with the houses in the development WE BOUGHT INTO. This was during the boom, so he was busybusybusy - too busy for us - his assistant (NOT a licensed realtor, but a glorified secretary) did most of the job of taking us around and showing us stuff. The second one was a friend of a relative, and she did a better job but ultimately didn’t do the screening you are talking about. We did that. She told us her approach was to give us information and let us make the decisions, but we were hoping for someone a little more directive. Our selling agent, on the other hand, was GREAT. She was a total virago who held our feet to the fire, but ultimately that allowed us to hold out for the best price, even in a softening market.
As first-time buyers, you are babes in the wood and you need to adjust accordingly. Go out there and look around as much as you can (open houses mostly). Drive-bys tell you nothing except can you stand the neighborhood. If you want your buyers’ agent to do walk-throughs and eliminate potential houses if they do not meet x, y, and z criteria, tell him that and tell him if he’s not willing to do it, you are going to part company. Pick certain neighborhoods that you want to live in, would be able to live in, and might be able to live in, list them, and give them to the agent. Yes, maybe they will be out of your price range, but if you just can’t live any further out, then there’s no point looking, is there? Plus even the hoity-toitiest neighborhood (except maybe 90210!) has starter housing somewhere.
THEN, once you get into the buying process, hire A REAL ENGINEERING FIRM and NOT a “home inspector” who took a couple hours of courses before getting some cheapo certification to do your home inspection. Yes, it’s much more expensive, but it is WORTH IT. Make them do their thing - climb on the roof, look in the basement, flip every damn light switch and thump every wall. The most important thing to keep in mind is that this is a business transaction, and you have to treat it as such, even when your heart is telling you “this is it!” You gotta pull up your big girl pants and be a bitch at times, but in the end, you will have the satisfaction of getting a house at a fair price and not getting D*CKED OVER (as you can tell I’ve had some bad experiences in this arena, and if I can spare you the same….) GOOD LUCK.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Whoops. Don’t know why it posted twice. Sorry!
Two last things I forgot:
1) the cat pee issue - don’t let that be the reason you turn down an otherwise acceptable house. Demand that the sellers have a PROFESSIONAL cleaning service APPROVED BY YOU come in and do a thorough inspection/assessment/estimate of the issue. If they feel they can clean it up, then have the seller clean it BEFORE you agree to anything binding (you can make a conditional offer pending a second visit). Then if it’s still unbearable, you walk away; if it’s not great but bearable, you knock a couple thou off your best offer and have it done again; if it’s fine you’ve gotten yourself a newly-cleaned house probably for less than market value since most people won’t look at a smelly house twice. The key issue is STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY. I would buy a house that was painted vomit green and that smelled like ass if it was solidly built and not in need of major repairs over a cheaply built but attractive house which will need all kinds of systems replacement in 5 - 10 years.
2) Two being worse than three? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. ha. Sorry to bust your bubble, but three has been AWFUL compared to two … and at the rate we’re going right now, four looks to be ten times WORSE. I just bought a book by Alan Kazdin that looks v. promising - if it’s the real deal, I’ll send you the name.
Wish me luck - I’ll try to post this only once.