Queen of Rambles

Poor Mike looks like a vampire who has been pulled into the daylight. Except, he must only be half-vampire because he doesn’t look like a pile of ashes so much as he looks pale and weary. The man is in dire need of a vacation, but instead he gets to go into work this evening. What a lucky guy!

If he gets his boys trained and nothing untoward in the satellite orbit happens and the lunar eclipse season goes well he might be able to take a few days off in October or November. He wants a vacation, but where to? He’s thinking we should take a cruise. I’m thinking that being on a boat means fish will be under us and there is a possibility–slim, but still possible–that I’ll be eaten by a giant fish. I don’t want to be eaten by a fish. I don’t want to be touched by a fish. As nice as a cruise sounds with the babysitting and youth programs, I’m not sure my phobia would let me relax. Maybe we’ll just hit up a hotel on the beach for a few nights. It’s a lot cheaper in October than July so we wouldn’t have to sell our kidneys first.

Mike also thinks we should bring my mom here for Christmas instead of us flying out there. On a logical level I completely agree. It would be much more relaxing for all involved and a lot cheaper. Plus, no baby on the plane. I can always go for no baby on the plane. I’ve been telling my mom for years that we’d spend “next Christmas” with her, but last year she nailed me to the wall and made me promise absolutely that we would spend this particular Christmas with her. I haven’t spent a Christmas with her since 2000. The problem, of course, is my grandma. We can’t leave her alone at Christmas time. That would be way too sad and depressing. And we sure can’t bring her out here. The stress of the two flights alone would kill my mother. My grandma is not a good flier. She’s a miserable travel companion who does everything in her power to make it miserable for everyone else. The totally ironic part is that she thinks she’s helping you by constantly bitching to the flight attendants and telling stories you’ve heard ten million times. I flew with her to Oklahoma a few years back and had silent tears streaming down my face on the flight from Dallas to Portland. Now she’s convinced I’m terrified of flying, when really I was just drained from being around her a whole week and trying to get her to our connecting gates. I bought the tickets and ordered a wheelchair, which was a necessity for her, but she had to argue about using it every single time and then refused to give anyone tips for pushing her and yelled at me every time I would give them a tip. Fun times!

So, if you lived in Maryland and had a two year old, where would you go to spend a few vacation days in the middle of autumn?

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 2nd, 2007 at 1:07 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.