Queen of Rambles

I need a Dustbuster. More specifically I need a “my toddler is a little asshole and thinks its hi-freakin’-larious to throw all his food off the side of his high chair tray and wander around with bits of cracker that he mushes into the floor” buster. Instead of giving the toddler away, I’d like an electric solution that sucks good and doesn’t take up a lot of space. Any recommendations? My grandma got a dustbuster when I was a little kid and I remember it not being so good at busting the dust. In fact, it seemed like DustSpitter would have been a more appropriate name. I realize it’s been 20 years or so since I had experience with dustbusting technology so maybe, just possibly, things have changed a little over the years.

Does anyone have any recommendations? How do you bust cracker crumbs, egg goop, and various other child-detritus? Help! I never knew housekeeping was so tedious.

Also, is a SpotBot worth it?

Since we are talking about food and the toddler, I’ll tell a cute story. I gave him some thawed out strawberries yesterday and he most emphatically did NOT like them. Not at all. Instead of eating them, he rubbed them all over his head. By the end of the meal he looked like he needed a trip to the ER to deal with his head wounds.

The little darling has been on my last nerve today, so we’ve spent a whole lot of time out at the park. He’s become obsessed with getting the lamp/chandelier that hangs above the dining room table. Anytime I’m at the table he wants on my lap so he can climb on the table and grab it. That, of course, is not allowed so he screams and screeches and throws a tantrum. When I’m not at the table he wants me to go to the table. He practically climbs up my legs and onto my head, then tries to steer me to the lamp. He is a stubborn little cuss and has the memory of an elephant. If this goes on much longer I may have to send out a change of address card. I’m sure they allow Christmas cards in the loony bin. It would probably be nice and peaceful in the loony bin, as long as they didn’t try to electrocute me. I wouldn’t mind getting some shots of calming drugs. I wonder if they would let me give the other patients shots. You know, I really should have been a phlebotomist. I love jabbing people with needles. I wonder how much education that requires. They always say “do something you love.” I think I could really love that career, except I would have to slap the whiny crybabies upside the head. I can’t stand whining.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 30th, 2006 at 11:33 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.