Queen of Rambles

It seems all I need to snap my self out of a grouch fest is a shot of endorphins. I finally made it back to the gym today and was in a much better mood. No one needed to die today. I didn’t even have to threaten to kill Erik, though I think Mike was about ready to throw the boy off the balcony when he bit his nipple. Good Erik. Now Daddy can see how it feels.

Our schedule is totally whacky and I’m not sure how to unwhack it in a way that will give me sleep. Must. Have. Sleep. Erik woke up at 11 am yesterday and 10 am today. Maybe it will be 9 am tomorrow. We have to be at a party at 10 on Wed. so we need to get unwhacked pretty fast. I bought him a dragon costume but now I worry it is going to be too hot in an indoor venue. I want to take gooey orange filled spider cupcakes to the party but I don’t know any toddlers who need that much sugar. Should I be a kill-joy and figure out some sort of healthy treat to take to the party? Suggestions anyone?

Speaking of being a kill-joy (in relation to toddler nutrition), my aunt was so relieved when she saw me give Erik a chocolate chip. “Whew! I’m so glad you gave that boy a piece of chocolate! I was worried you were raising him by the book.”

I love my aunt dearly and really wish she was a much closer relation than my grandma’s sister-in-law, but she has funny ideas. Following a book would be Very Bad. I don’t know why. I have never raised a baby before. I’ve never even been around a baby before. I feel my child needs to benefit from the years of research and knowledge that have come before me. I need to stand on the shoulders of giants. Of course I take the advice I like and throw out the rest, but I never would have known what to do if I was just handed a baby without the benefit of Penelope Leach’s written words. I heart me some Penelope Leach. I don’t think Erik has turned out half bad using this book learnin’ approach.

It’s funny the things that other people think you should do with your child. I thought of Heather because my mom was even more horrified than her dad about striped baby pants. They were just pajama bottoms, but I would have no problem dressing him in striped pants if they were regular. Then, after all her complaining about the horribleness of his pants do you know what the woman did? She and Mike dressed him in an orange pajama top, navy blue pants and red socks. This wouldn’t have upset me except they brought him to the big Homecoming game dressed like that. I was trying to show off my cute baby to all these people I haven’t seen in ten years and they brought me some kind of circus freak.

When I was in college I always thought I looked like some kind of circus freak. I was convinced I was the fattest and ugliest girl on campus. We looked at a ton of old pics while I was there and I want to slap myself silly. I was not hideous. I was not even as fat as I thought I was. I was actually quite presentable. I wasted all that angst when I could have been wearing tight sweaters and showing off my boobs (and getting a haircut that helped hide my cowlick). I know I should take this lesson to heart and apply it to my current body image angst, but have you seen the size of my post-pregnancy belly roll? How can I not fantasize about home fat removal surgery? We used to have a really sharp fish knife that Mike’s company gave us as a Christmas gift one year. It would have been perfect for trimming the fat. I haven’t seen it in a long, long time. I wonder if Mike is hiding it from me. I think I kinda scare the poor boy sometimes.

Lookie there. It’s midnight. My pumpkin head says goodnight.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 23rd, 2006 at 8:54 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.