Worrisome
I’m very worried about my grandma. I talked to her on the phone tonight and it is clear that her mental capabilities are in a steep decline. We’re talking a black diamond slope. I don’t say this to be flippant or snarky, as is usually the case when I talk about her. I say this because it is extremely worrisome and I don’t know how much longer she can live on her own. She’s been having mini-strokes for a few years and her brain is full of hardened arteries and it has all been taking its toll, but tonight’s conversation really drove home the point.
As I’ve mentioned before, we are going to Oklahoma in October and my mom is joining us. We’re all flying into Tulsa on the same day, renting a car, driving up to my university for a few days, driving over to my relatives for a few days, then leaving from Tulsa. She’s known about this plan for months but she doesn’t understand it. Is my mom flying to DC and flying out with us? No. Is my mom flying here and babysitting Erik while we go to Oklahoma? No. Is my mom flying to Ray and Joan’s house (our relatives)? Last I checked they didn’t have a landing strip out back.
Ok, I guess those things can be confusing, but then she asked the most bizarre question of all. How come we are sending Erik on the plane by himself the day before we leave? How my mom find him in the airport?
Was your mind just blown? Mine was. She really thought we were going to send a baby on a plane by himself to meet my mom? I really do think it’s time for her to visit a nursing home. It’s so depressing.
In addition to her sincere confusion about our trip, I also was treated to several housekeeping monologues. Her housekeeping monologues are the joy of my life. I love being told how to clean and organize and cook. She has never visited my adult home so she has no clue how I live. If she hadn’t scared me so much with her confusion over Erik’s flight plan I would have been pissed when she said “poor, poor Mike. Is he finally getting used to your cooking? I know he doesn’t like what you feed him.” I just laughed because the boy loves my cooking. She also gave me this little pearl of wisdom: If you cook more than you can eat, just put the leftovers in the fridge and you can heat them up and eat them the next day! I think she just revolutionized my life.
Yes, I make light, but it is only because that’s the only way I know how to respond. In addition to being sad that she’s finally hit the point where her marbles are literally gone, I’m sad that she hasn’t lived a life of happiness. She could have been happy if she just would have tried, but she was so busy keeping a tight control on everything that she couldn’t find time to laugh or love.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:20 am
My grandmother got the same way and it is so sad to watch. About a year before she passed away, she couldn’t remember 10 minutes after a meal that she had eaten one. She had something called vascular dementia (I think hardening of the arteries in the brain?), but would have occasional flashes of lucidity. I’m so sorry.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:32 am
I don’t think I have many years left with my mom before the same thing happens. We have already had many hilarious cases of misunderstandings due to hearing loss.
It sucks. I’m sorry about your Grandma. And I’m sorry that you have to put up with those awful things that she says to you. Sounds like you take it with stride!
August 29th, 2006 at 9:36 am
I’m sorry about your grandmother. I’m spending the weekend with my grandparents this weekend and I am not looking forward to seeing how much they’ve declined since I saw them last. It’s so painful. My grandfather has gotten so confused lately that my grandmother has actually started being NICE to him. It’s just not normal!
August 29th, 2006 at 9:50 am
It’s so hard to watch our loved ones deteriorate. Sorry you have to go through it.
August 29th, 2006 at 10:50 am
My grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s and it’s horrible to have to see them go into such a decline. I’m sorry that you’re grandma is showing signs of it.
I’m also sorry that she says those mean things to you and treats you like she does.
August 29th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
We have been watching my mother gradually lose her mind for about 4 years now. We, too, try to laugh at the funny moments and marvel at how the brain works to put together the pieces when it can no longer make sense of the whole. It’s the only thing that helps us hold on to our own sanity.
August 29th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
Thinking of you. My grandfather’s second wife (my grandmother for 15 years) isn’t very good either. She’s always called me Erika (another granddaughter), but it’s worse now. She’s 92, so go figure.