Truth is Stranger than Fiction
In the words of Kisha, I make shit up. I don’t lie per se, because I always assume people will know when I am over-exaggerating for the sake of a laugh line. But yes, I have to admit, I make shit up.
That said, every single thing I’m about to type is totally and 100% true and needs no exaggeration.
Last week we got a notice that our building would be powerwashed and painted. What’s this? Actual maintenance performed on a building that isn’t by the showroom apartments? We’re no longer living in the ghetto!*
At the time I envisioned a post titled “Clothing NOT Optional” since I prefer nudity. I never got around to writing that post since I am lazy and it’s easier to wow you with pictures of a big-eyed baby.
I forgot all about the new clothing requirements and walked out into our living room with nothing but a towel on my head. The man standing on my balcony didn’t even bother to leave me a tip. Don’t you think he should have left a dollar bill under the flower pot to express his appreciation for a real, nude female body? Or does a tip only come after a dance? Doesn’t running away with a screech count as a dance?
Other weird thing:
We’ve lost power from 7:30 pm to 8:15 pm the last two nights. I can understand one evening of lost power (even though there were no storms), but two at the exact same time make no sense.
The first night I was starting to get a little freaked out. We live in the ‘burbs of Washington, DC so my first thought was “TERRORISTS! They’re coming to get us!”
Did I take any action to save us from the terrorists? No. I seriously thought about calling Kisha and asking her to check CNN and see if we should run away, but I’m too shy to call people. I laid on the bed and nursed Erik to sleep, all while planning what supplies we’d need to pack if we had to make a run to Ohio in middle of the night (Julie, will you let us crash with you if the East coast comes under attack?). I was thinking of the important things like “laptop, camera, photo albums” until it occurred to me that in case of war I might appreciate some food. We mainly eat fresh vegetables and meat, so our Apocalypse diet will consist of olives and tomato paste. Yum.
Last night when the power shut off I realized that it was the aliens. They’re testing us and our power grid. They’re gearing up for an attack! Will it be tonight? Tomorrow? It’s a good thing I bought a smores maker last year. I can take the smores maker and a bag of flour and make bread to dip in our tomato paste. Ohio might be safe from terrorists, but where can we flee in the event of an alien attack? Luckily I didn’t have time to get too worked up because Mike distracted me. He’s a good boy sometimes.
I just don’t think it’s normal for power to go out two nights in a row at the exact same time.
And my last weird nugget of information included Mandy Moore and Maculy Culkin. I don’t think I like either of them and they totally don’t mesh together in my brain, but they are both in the movie Saved!, the best movie I’ve seen in a good, long time. Maybe it’s because I am very familiar with the Christian culture and recognized the hypocrisy that the movie deals with, but I LOVED it. It’s hilarious and heart-wrenching and will hopefully lead to some discussions about the nature of true goodness. Highly recommend. It’s been in our NetFlix que for a long time, but I ended up watching it on ShowTime OnDemand. We just downgraded our NetFlix to 1 movie because I never have time to watch TV anymore since Erik naps by himself instead of in my lap and OnDemand always has a ton of movies that have been languishing in our que.
Long time readers may recall our fancy-schmancy apartment searching rating guide in which we had several ratings requirements of our new apartment. Scoring the building furthest away from the leasing office was one of our tricks, as well as rating the cars in the parking lot.
August 27th, 2006 at 1:28 pm
The power going out at the same time and staying out for the same length of time both nights is really freaky! I agree, I think it’s the aliens!
And if the guy looked, you should’ve gotten the tip. Dance or no dance, no questions asked, you should’ve got a tip.
I saw that movie Saved! I liked it. There were a lot of people that I know who didn’t like it, some Christians some not. But, I liked it and thought it was making a real good point on the hyposcrisy also. I’m a Christian myself, and I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of Christians teach “love they neighbor as thy self” only so long as the neighbor is doing what they want. That’s not what it’s supposed to be about and this movie was showing that. Or at least that’s the message we got out of it.
:)
August 27th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
Sounds like a scaring weekend – make sure you have lots of candles next time! Hope you’ll have a great and peaceful week ahead then:-)
August 27th, 2006 at 7:45 pm
I liked Saved too. And the guy on your balcony…eek!
August 27th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Had a similar experience. It was late one morning and I laid naked on my bed in the full glory of the morning sunlight streaming through my 14th floor bachelor’s apartment. A whirring noise and there was a window washer guy getting an eyeful. I screamed and immediately covered myself and head with the blanket until he was gone. Totally freaked me out.
And the power going out at the same time for two nights in a row would freak me out too. You know you always have a place to stay out here in western Canada.
August 28th, 2006 at 5:44 pm
My building got powerwashed last year, and they somehow managed to spray bleach under the front door!