Queen of Rambles

Ever watch the various Chucky movies? Not me. No way, no how. Just the commercials were enough to make me give my dolls a second glance and consider a lock on the toy chest. I just now glanced over at MisterE and noticed his overly happy stuffed giraffe smiling back at me. A shiver ran down my spine and I had to throw it on the floor so it wouldn’t get me. If I keep my legs tucked into my sheets all night I should be safe. If I don’t? Well. . . if there’s no post from me tomorrow you’ll know that damned 8-inch-high giraffe found a way to beat me to death with his attached rattle.

I did a bad, bad thing today and watched a horror movie. No wonder I’m so jumpy. I don’t watch horror movies because it takes me weeks, possibly months, to get the images out of my brain. Signs and The Moth Man Prophecies still can creep into the back of my thoughts and freak me out when I least expect it. Signs did such a number on me that I vowed to never watch another M. Night Shyamalan for the rest of my life. So what did I do today? Finally watched The Village. I’d heard that it wasn’t nearly as scary or good as his other movies and one part was true–it wasn’t as scary. Frankly, I found his other movies to be rather slow-paced and had a hard time sitting through them. This movie was also slow-paced, but I was fascinated. I never thought I’d say this, especially after reading so many reviews, but I loved it. I particularly enjoyed the twist at the end and have been thinking about it ever since.

I don’t think the movie is the cause of my stuffed-giraffe fear. I just think I’m a doofus.

Now I must talk about something warm and fuzzy so I’ll forget all about my mini-night stalker and go to sleep peacefully. How about some MisterE talk?

I hate that I often talk about him in the same self-deprecating style that I use to talk about myself. He is a sweet, innocent little babe. He doesn’t need to be diminished because of my constant need to make sure no one thinks I’m bragging. My family has ingrained the “no brag” mentality into so much that it’s almost a sickness. I should brag about my baby. I have been terrible at keeping up with his baby book but I hope one day he will be able to read through all my journals (thanks BlogBinders) and see how much love and joy he’s brought into my life.

We had a grand time today, just me and the boy. He cuddled into my lap and looked up at me with his big blue eyes. I’d make weird noises and pretend to eat his face. He’d laugh and laugh and laugh. I want him to know that there is nothing sweeter in the world than the feel of his little body leaned back in my arms. The look of joy on his face is the most precious gift a son could give his mother. The laughter a few silly sounds elicited is the laughter that’s the best medicine. I don’t know how I ever lived before he was born. I can’t believe I ever, ever wanted to live a life without children. Every day I watch him grow and acquire new skills (he can stand all by himself as of today! He can push around a push toy all by himself!) and my emotions are torn. I’m so proud of him and anxious to see what kind of man he’ll become but I’m deeply sad that my little boy is going to grow up and not need his mama anymore. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back the tears the first time he turns his head away when I try to give him a good-bye kiss at school. I guess I’ll just deal with it. Everyone does. I just love this little boy so much that I don’t know how my heart manages to stay in my chest.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 31st, 2006 at 8:03 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.