Queen of Rambles

I’ve never been into yoga. Before today I didn’t even know what yoga was, really. I’ve seen the skinny ladies stretching and contorting with languid ease on various television shows and I’ve seen witty little t-shirts about downward dogs but it has never been my scene. I never thought it would be. I never considered trying it. It looked very hard but not very aerobic and I like my exercise to be intense yet doable. Does that make any sense? I love to dance around at an aerobics class and have no desire to stand around looking like a stork.

I’ve had a burst of energy this weekend and decided to check out some of the exercise offerings on our OnDemand cable dealie. We have no room up in the loft for lots of jumping around and it seems quite rude to jump around in our living room right on top of someone else’s head, so the exercise plan was not working out very well. Aerobics were out, but I’m a goofball so decided to make Erik do Yoga for Kids with me. Right. Like I can make him do anything.

I have two words. Holy hell.

I had no clue yoga, much less “kid’s yoga” would be so physically demanding. The program ran for less than twenty minutes and I thought I was going to die by the time we became friendly flowers (the last pose). Erik, of course, didn’t participate in the yoga so much as he participated in the slobbering of my eye. Mike had a jolly good laugh and took plenty of photos. He’s under the delusion that he’s going to make a slide show and post it. He’ll have a long, cold winter if he attempts any such thing. The world does not need pictures of my fat body doing things it was never meant to do. No one wants to see that. Or maybe they do. Maybe people would look and get a pick me up by thinking “wow. At least I don’t look like that.” I’m all for solidarity of the Fat Sisterhood, but I’m not willing to be your consolation chubby buddy.

We also went swimming today and I managed to get in a few laps while Mike played with Erik. It’s been well over a year since I was heavily into lap swimming and I could tell–my arms were on fire by the third lap. I’m going to have to get a serious hair cut if I get back into swimming, but I don’t think that’s going to happen because the gym I’m planning on joining doesn’t have a pool.

The last few days we’ve been the only people at the pool but today there was an explosion of children. One couple had four kids who all looked to be under four. I can’t even imagine. I felt really bad for their baby–he was the ugliest baby I have ever laid eyes on. I don’t think he was much older than Erik based on the types of things he was doing, but he was at least twice Erik’s size. Fat babies are usually cute but this one was just. . . ugh. No. Breathtaking*. I shouldn’t be so mean. The baby might grow up and cure cancer. Looks aren’t important. I am just lucky to have been blessed with the cutest baby ever born. I shouldn’t compare other babies to his greatness.

*It’s been a while since we played the five point game! Five points if you know why I would call an ugly baby breathtaking. Also, Leslie if you are reading this I think I should get five points for laughing at your Fun Bobby reference in your post the other day. He was Monica’s drunk boyfriend who lost all his fun when Monica convinced him to sober up.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 30th, 2006 at 7:45 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.