Queen of Rambles

I think my darling son is going to have one giant crick in his neck. If I were a better mother I might go over to him and gently unfold his neck from his shoulder. If I were an excellent mother I might wipe his face off, remove him from his high chair and put him in a bed. Instead I’m just going to pray to Your Deity of Choice that he doesn’t wake up. Hopefully the apples, blueberries and carrots that have turned his face into a colorful and nutritious rainbow won’t give him a rash.

Yup. It finally happened, as I’ve been told it would.

He fell asleep in the high chair as I was feeding him. I had a book on my lap, reading in between spoonfuls of goo. I went to stick another glob of the fruit mix in his mouth when I realized he was out cold. Who am I to wake a sleeping baby? NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING BABY! That lesson was learned the hard way.

Another lesson learned: Always wear pants.

I was playing with the baby and reading my book and enjoying a state of half nakedness when my book fell behind the couch. Instead of pulling the couch all the way out, I just fished behind the sofa for the book, grabbed it, tried to remove my arm from behind the couch and realized I was stuck.

When you first realize you are stuck it’s kind of funny. Ha ha ha. What kind of person gets her arm stuck behind a couch. What went down must come up. If it fit before it must fit now.

Then, when you realize you are well and truly stuck and that your arm isn’t going anywhere and you have a baby who is most likely finding a cord to chew you start to panic. Arm! Arm! Unstick thyself I say!

The more I pulled and prodded and pushed, the more I realized I was well and truly stuck. I had no idea what to do. Call Mike? But how? I couldn’t reach the phone. Even if I could, there was very little he could do. Scream for help? Maybe someone would take pity on me and call maintenance to come rescue me. At the rate they move I’d be rescued in about 72 hours. The man seeing me in my purty stripey underwear would be the least of my worries.

After what felt like an eternity, as my heart pounded faster and faster and tears of hot panic rolled down my face I pulled as hard as I could and freed my arm. It felt like I ripped the flesh right off the upper part of my arm and I seem to be getting a nice bruise, but at least I was free to save MisterE from the dangers that lurk on the floor.

And now I suppose I should go do some writing since our Mosaic Minds deadline is creeping up. I have actually started a piece of fiction for it. No telling if I will finish though. I seem to have great starts, but no idea how to come up with a coherent plot. I think I’m too logical. I want to have a good reason for everything that happens and I want everyone to understand that reason. The best stories just are. They require no explanation even if they are strange.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 at 12:01 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.