Queen of Rambles

I’m a worry wart at heart, but that doesn’t really stop me from doing the things I want to do. Sure, I worry terrorists are going to poison the water supply, but a girl has to drink. Yes, you’ll find a nervous twist of unlikely plots snaking through my brain when I’m sitting […]

Mike says I am required to title this post “Purple Hands.” Since when did he become the boss of me? I don’t even have purple hands. We thought all the weather people were having some sort of special “wear purple gloves to work day,” but it turns out our little TV is […]

Let’s start with the good, shall we.
A month or so ago I discovered Hooter Hiders (it seems they’ve changed the name, maybe it was too crass?). I decided I must have a hooter hider because I have big hooters that need hiding when I am on a plane with a pervy old man who […]

If I sit here really, really quiet like do you think the baby will notice that I exist. Aren’t babies supposed to have some kind of “if I don’t see it, it isn’t there” kind of developmental issue? He’s been sleeping in his car seat for 10 minutes (a record), but I hear […]

I have officially entered the world of mommy playgroups. Someone come and save me.
I put my toe in the waters a few weeks ago and joined up a free Maryland e-mail list that was based around this area. It was a little strange because even though the list was several months old there […]

I woke up with two eyes full of crud thanks to my scraggly hair. I like short hair, but it doesn’t stay short when I don’t cut it for four months. It grows long and spiky and drips moulding mud in my eyes. Moulding mud looks and smells like ear wax, but […]

Ok, I’ve taken away a few and added at least one, but that makes it all the more interesting, right?
By the way, I got my “free” jewelery from The Silver Jewelry Club today. My impression? It’s good stuff. The earrings are smaller than I thought they would be, but still very […]

I don’t know about you, but the state of our earth scares the bejeezus out of me. I see how much trash we produce on a weekly basis and we recycle A TON and I just wonder how our planet can take much more of us filthy humans. I read the ingredients in […]

Margalit has tagged me with the four things meme. I already had this part of it written up for my “oh no, I might be gone two weeks!” emergency plan, but I may as well post it now since I’ve been tagged.
Before I get into it, though, I want to show you […]

Did you know I am the biggest liar to ever live? I tell more lies than serial killers, politicians and first graders combined. I’m just oh-so-devious.
My grandma called yesterday, but I was up to my elbow in baby poop so I didn’t answer the phone. I have an answering machine. I make […]