Queen of Rambles

I’m a worry wart at heart, but that doesn’t really stop me from doing the things I want to do. Sure, I worry terrorists are going to poison the water supply, but a girl has to drink. Yes, you’ll find a nervous twist of unlikely plots snaking through my brain when I’m sitting on an [...]

Mike says I am required to title this post “Purple Hands.” Since when did he become the boss of me? I don’t even have purple hands. We thought all the weather people were having some sort of special “wear purple gloves to work day,” but it turns out our little TV is dying a slow [...]

Let’s start with the good, shall we. A month or so ago I discovered Hooter Hiders (it seems they’ve changed the name, maybe it was too crass?). I decided I must have a hooter hider because I have big hooters that need hiding when I am on a plane with a pervy old man who [...]

If I sit here really, really quiet like do you think the baby will notice that I exist. Aren’t babies supposed to have some kind of “if I don’t see it, it isn’t there” kind of developmental issue? He’s been sleeping in his car seat for 10 minutes (a record), but I hear the tinkling [...]

I have officially entered the world of mommy playgroups. Someone come and save me. I put my toe in the waters a few weeks ago and joined up a free Maryland e-mail list that was based around this area. It was a little strange because even though the list was several months old there had [...]

I woke up with two eyes full of crud thanks to my scraggly hair. I like short hair, but it doesn’t stay short when I don’t cut it for four months. It grows long and spiky and drips moulding mud in my eyes. Moulding mud looks and smells like ear wax, but it is a [...]

Ok, I’ve taken away a few and added at least one, but that makes it all the more interesting, right? By the way, I got my “free” jewelery from The Silver Jewelry Club today. My impression? It’s good stuff. The earrings are smaller than I thought they would be, but still very nice. The garnets [...]

I don’t know about you, but the state of our earth scares the bejeezus out of me. I see how much trash we produce on a weekly basis and we recycle A TON and I just wonder how our planet can take much more of us filthy humans. I read the ingredients in pre-packaged food [...]

Margalit has tagged me with the four things meme. I already had this part of it written up for my “oh no, I might be gone two weeks!” emergency plan, but I may as well post it now since I’ve been tagged. Before I get into it, though, I want to show you how mundane [...]

Did you know I am the biggest liar to ever live? I tell more lies than serial killers, politicians and first graders combined. I’m just oh-so-devious. My grandma called yesterday, but I was up to my elbow in baby poop so I didn’t answer the phone. I have an answering machine. I make good use [...]