Queen of Rambles

It’s been a LONG time since I tried to buy jeans. Too long.

I sort of remember having trouble with the low rise phenomenon the last time I bought a pair of jeans, but the memory is hazy and I think I was successful in my hunt despite the fact that most jean manufacturers also want me to buy thongs and show my tush. My tush ain’t showing. No way, no how.

I’m sick and tired of wearing maternity pants because they are made out of yucky fabric and are generally fugly, but I am not quite fitting into my pre-pregnancy pants. If I wasn’t such a believer in The Purge I would have had plenty of pants to choose from, but I am a purger. We move too much to keep stuff hanging around and I feel like keeping big sizes in the closest gives me permission to eat ice cream.

Low rise pants are not the thing to wear when you are two weeks post-pregnancy. They probably aren’t the thing to wear if you are a plus size anyway, but post pregnancy? Ugh. No one needs to see the rolls of fat that have shifted and lowered and just generally changed the shape of your already funky body. Even worse than regular low-rise jeans are low-rise petite jeans when you stand at 5’6″. Mike and I went shopping together and had the baby with us, so I was trying to hurry and just grabbing things off the shelf and didn’t notice I’d picked up a pair of petites. Wow. They are really not made for someone who’s waist is more than an inch and a half above her crotch. Talk about nasty.

In the end I got two pairs of Dockers that fit ok, though it is weird to look in the mirror and see my re-arranged body fat. I can’t wait to hop on the elliptical and start shedding some pounds. Maybe a moratorium on ice cream would also help the situation.

Mike also wanted to buy jeans, so I figured we were in for a loooooong shopping trip. I forgot I was married to a man. Or rather, I forgot that men shop in a completely different manner from women.

We found the wall of guy jeans, Mike had me read the label on the back of his butt, he grabbed two pairs that matched his label and he was done. Over. Finished. Two minutes and his part of the excursion was complete. I was stunned. How can you buy jeans and not try them on? One pair fits just fine, but the other pair turned out to be mislabeled so he has to take them back tomorrow.

I did manage to buy myself a new winter coat that I like. It is kind of tealish, so that makes me tingle. Teal always makes me tingle. I bought a leather jacket last year because it’s always been my dream to have a leather jacket, but the pocket ripped out of it almost on day one and it was not particularly warm and it basically sucked. Thus are dreams dashed.

We got our newborn pictures the other day and I am so mad at myself for ordering a big batch of them. They are ugly! And pixelated! I could forgive the ugly since newborns are ugly in general, but the pixelated makes me mad. There is no reason for a professional photo place to sell me pixelated photos. Plus, they had a note in the envelope that $6.00 of the purchase price went for a subscription to Child magazine. We could send in a little paper with our receipt within 30 days and get the money back or we could just get the magazine. That pisses me off. If I wanted a damned subscription I would get one! I don’t need to jump through stupid advertising hoops. In the end, though, six bucks for a year’s subscription might be worth it so I might do exactly what they want me to do and succumb to the pressure. I hate that.

I’m just glad I didn’t order baby announcements through that particular company. Instead, I ordered them through Wal-Mart’s online photo center and am very, very happy with the results. And they were only thirty-three cents each! We picked them up today and the announcements look great. Now I just have to find time to find all the address I need to mail them to and then address the envelopes. I suppose I should write letters to go with each one as well, though I may have to resort to a form letter even though I know people hate those. Better than just getting a random picture of a baby that you aren’t quite sure you are supposed to know (my relatives probably aren’t all that familiar with my married last name).

We also got a whole truck load of other pictures that we’ve been storing on the computer for a couple of years. Why why why did I print out so many that had me in them? I hate looking at pictures of myself. Ugh. Also, I think we really could do with a new digital camera. Several of the pictures have a pixelated quality to them, probably because our camera is so old. It is a really great camera and I love it, but it’s five years old so it really is a dinosaur. Just what we need to do: spend more money. Having a baby is incredibly expensive.

At least the baby has spent a lot of time sleeping in his bassinet today. We are trying to train him to sleep in it and he does fine in it during the day, but screams bloody murder when we put him in it at night. I think he is scared of the dark. Maybe. Who knows? Wasn’t it dark in the womb?

And now he’s awake, so I guess this is over.

This entry was posted on Saturday, October 29th, 2005 at 5:29 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.