Little Update
I am trying very hard to do an update every day. I feel it is important for my mental health, though on days like today it doesn’t seem like my mental health really needs any help. It just needs some sleep. And a good place to rest my back. Am I in for a lifetime of back pain? If I wasn’t committed to breastfeeding I would be making an appointment to get these suckers cut off TODAY. The sooner the better. I haven’t taken any pain medication for my c-section today, so I guess that’s why the back pain is so pronounced.
Back to my mental health. . .
I worry about things. I worry about a lot of things. When I was pregnant I was worried that we were doing the wrong thing and that we didn’t need a baby. Who needs a baby? We aren’t pioneers that need lots of burly boys to plow our fields with the one lame oxen and a few sturdy girls to feed the chickens and cook the meals. If anything, having a baby seems rather gratuitous given the downward spiral the world seems to be in.
I can say unequivocally that we made the right decision to have a baby. I can say with all honesty that I have never, ever, not even for a second been happier in my entire life. I think you can clearly see that in the pictures. I know I am glowing. It feels good to glow. I am so happy that I can barely stand it. I get weepy just thinking about what a wonderful, wonderful little boy we have now. My big question before he was born was “What do we DO with a baby?” I still don’t have an answer to that, but it no longer matters. We just live and love and kiss his chubby little cheeks as often as possible. That’s all we need to do.
He is such a little snuggle bug that I am finding it almost impossible to reply to comments or comment on the journals I read. I am reading and I do appreciate all the comments. I just find it very hard to type a reply when I’ve got a little inchworm crawling around on my chest. He’s one strong little boy and sometimes he will totally flip over. I hope I don’t drop him.
And that is that for this update. I had a few more things to say, but the boob man calleth and the boob man can’t be denied.
October 24th, 2005 at 4:46 am
Taking care of your baby and yourself is, strange though it may seem, even more important than blogging. And about that worrying: before you were pregnant you wanted a baby very much, maybe that somehow got forgotten while you were pregnant (because you didn’t need to want one any more because he was on the way?) but I suspect it connects with your happiness now. I worry a lot too, but less since I read something about it recently, I can’t remember the exact words but it was along the lines that people who worry are letting some of their thoughts be terrorists in their heads, and they don’t have to do that. A little light bulb went on in mine, and now, when I start worrying, I notice, and decide I don’t want terrorists in my head, and banish them!
October 24th, 2005 at 2:24 pm
Hi Carrie, I just wanted to comment about something your mom said a couple of posts back. I can’t remember exactly what her wording was, but I do remember that she said something about you being ‘softer’ looking. I just wanted to say that I totally agree with her and I think that you look absolutely radiant. Also, don’t fret too much about what you think you’re supposed to be doing, as you are finding, it will come naturally and from the sounds of it, you are falling into motherhood quite nicely. Again, congratulations! Looking forward to more photos.
October 24th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
Well I think you are wonderful for keeping us posted. As you can see, I don’t write in my blog anymore. It’s just to difficult to keep up with two kids. I have so much to do and not enough time to even go to the bathroom at times.
Anyways, thanks for making the extra effort to post. I really enjoy reading what you are going through and feel like I’ve made a friend too.