Queen of Rambles

I was knocked out of my morning entry habit by a long sleep-in this morning. I was awake a lot of the night with cramps, so it was nice to finally conk out and sleep till 10 am, even if I did wake up in the biggest puddle of drool found outside a St. Bernard’s mouth. I had a slight emergency at 6 or so. I thought my leg was asleep, but couldn’t figure out why the tinglies were only in an isolated area. It wasn’t tinglies. It was a BIG BUG CRAWLING ON MY NAKED LEG!!!! I don’t know how I ever fell back to sleep after that.

I had a doctor’s appointment today and didn’t find out much. I’ve been given “permission” to have this kid any time I want to. I actually lost a pound this week, so let’s all do a cheer for that! My swelling is almost gone, so I guess that’s why. I know you are all dying for reports on the state of my cervix. Who wouldn’t be? I’m not dilated at all, but am 50% effaced. Things are happening–just not fast enough to suit me. I had a little scare when we were listening to the heart beat because it sounded totally weird. I thought Thumper must have some horrible heart defect that we were just now discovering, but when I asked the doctor he just laughed and informed me that I have an extremely active baby. The weird flapping noises were just his movements. That was a relief, but I am a little afraid of what it is going to be like to have such an active little boy! Isn’t it a little early for me to be worrying about ADD?

As always, the nurse gave me a pregnancy magazine. I’m so glad I don’t pay money for these rags. I forgot my book when I went to pick Mike up from the train station, so opened the magazine and found an article about what to expect the first day the baby was home. I really don’t understand who writes or edits these articles. I wanted to take a red pen to the article and write things like “BUY A THESIS STATEMENT!” Don’t people use thesis statements anymore?

The first paragraph talked about how most mothers think the first day home is going to be perfect: the mother will wear her favorite pre-pregnancy jeans, then the husband and wife will stand over the baby while it sleeps peacefully and coos every once in a while.

Seriously, who thinks that is going to happen? Who honestly believes they will be wearing their pre-pregnancy jeans on the way home from the hospital? Who thinks it is going to be peaceful?

The very next paragraph talks about most mothers are terrified of what will happen on the first day home from the hospital: will I break the baby? What if it won’t stop crying?

Now that paragraph sounds more likely. But how can most parents think it will be perfect and most parents think it is terrifying? Did the author even read what she wrote? Did the editor forget to read the whole article? Am I too picky when it comes to articles in professional publications?

I guess that will have to serve as my rant for the evening. I could rant about people who don’t know how to drive, but that gets a little old I guess. It was spitting rain on my way down to the doctor and it literally took me twice as long to get to the office as usual. Traffic was literally at a stand still at the lovely part of the highway known as “the mixing bowl.” The name is apt, but there was absolutely no reason it needed to be at a standstill in middle of the afternoon.

And some TMI for the ladies only (and certainly not the faint of heart). . .

I was bored this afternoon and decided to see if I could figure out how to make my breast pump work, since I have milk already. I’ve heard that breast feeding can have . . . pleasurable. . . effects. HOLY COW! I can testify that it can certainly have extremely pleasurable effects–and I don’t think I want to have those kinds of feelings while I am feeding my little boy!

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 29th, 2005 at 5:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.