Do Nothing Day
I had a major do nothing today, which I desperately needed. My two days of bed rest were totally wasted after this weekend. My pain was right back where it was before, though at least I was smart enough to stay off the sewing machine and avoid an almost fainting spell. Hard to write a blog entry on a do-nothing day.
I did go to the doctor this morning, so that was something I suppose. I don’t know quite how to feel about the news I received. I have been diagnosed with “poor weight gain” and am going to have an ultrasound on Wednesday. In a way I am really, really happy that I have managed to stop from blowing up like a big ol’ balloon. I’ve gained a total of 8 pounds so far, and I can see that it is all in the belly. Of course, the other side of the coin is the worry about the baby. I certainly don’t want him to have any problems because I’m not gaining enough weight! I was just really surprised that the doctor said I had poor weight gain since for my weight I am only supposed to gain 15 pounds TOTAL. I am excited that we get to take another look at the baby on Wednesday, but also nervous and hoping that everything will be ok. I think it will be. I hope.
It’s not like I’m trying hard to not gain weight. I do exercise, but exercise is recommended. I don’t have much of an appetite and don’t eat as much as I used to, but I am certainly not trying to diet. I cut out the diet milkshakes months ago and eat real food. I eat more sweets that I ate when I wasn’t pregnant. I eat a lot more fruit than I used to eat. I eat snacks between meals, which I had trained myself away from a few years ago. I think my body just really likes the weight it is at now. It is the weight it prefers no matter what and it is really, really difficult for me to get below this weight. Apparently it doesn’t want to go above this weight either.
It’s just totally bizarre to be a fat lady who’s chastised for being too thin.
Plus, I guess I really am scared that there will be something wrong. I don’t know why, but I’ve spent most of this pregnancy just waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’d think I’m used to having my joy stolen away from me at the last moment, but that’s simply not the case. In general good things happen to me. In general my life always works out. In general I am happy. Why am I so scared that fate is going to step in and take this away? I think I read too many infertility blogs (just because I like the writing, not because I’m infertile.)
August 2nd, 2005 at 10:49 am
I hope all goes well with the baby! Fingers crossed.
August 2nd, 2005 at 12:00 pm
I hope everything goes well. I can imagine how scary it would be being pregnant, thinking about all the things that COULD go wrong. But I’ll be here, hoping that everything goes just perfectly and that you have a perfectly healthy baby.
I didn’t realize that how much weight you are supposed to gain is based on your weight….interesting. Being overweight to start with, I was worried about gaining 30 pounds or so when I eventually (hopefully…) get pregnant.