Break Time
Just a few hours away from the Mosaic Minds deadline and things are still not done. I am not a good leader at all and really want to slap myself upside the head, but what good would that do me? I’m feeling like a gigantic failure today, which doesn’t really make pulling an article out of my ass any easier. Why does it feel like everything I write is just total bull shit? I’ve always felt that way, ever since I started getting accolades for my writing in seventh grade. The teacher would tell me how good it was and I’d be confused–I just write what I’m thinking. That’s nothing special.
So now I’m taking a break and writing stuff that doesn’t make me feel stressed out. A report on my busy day from yesterday is surely in order.
We started at the birthing center and I can’t say we really learned a whole lot since I’d already been there for monitoring this week. We did get to see a baby that was only 45 minutes old. He was screaming bloody murder and looked like an evil puppet. He caused our tour to start late since the doctor was in delivering him instead of meeting us at the front desk.
We did learn some of the contents of the four mystery bags we’re supposed to bring. Apparently one will be dedicated to our alcohol stash. We’ll need champagne to celebrate (I won’t argue with that one, I love champagne) and we’ll need cans of German beer to help bring in my milk. The doctor recommends half a can of German beer a day for the new mother. Apparently the brewer’s yeast helps bring in the milk. I don’t drink beer and don’t think I’m going to take it up the day I give birth. I guess if I have a milk supply problem and get desperate I might try it, but otherwise. . . . ewwwww.
The afternoon was much more fun. I was supposed to meet my college buddy (hereafter known as CB) at a place near the Pentagon City metro station. There are several malls in that area but I didn’t know that. I got off the metro at the exact time we were supposed to meet and didn’t see Pentagon Row anywhere. There was a Pentagon Centre and a Fashion Centre, but no Row. NO ROW! I walked up and down the street before finally sucking it up and asking a guy selling sunglasses where I was supposed to go. He gave me directions and I found a building that said Pentagon Row and all was well. I was only 10 minutes late and only slightly drenched in sweat from the humidity.
But then. . . . .
The snag.
There was no door. A whole mall, and nary a door to be found! I walked up and I walked down and I walked up again. No door! I saw displays in windows and parking garages that said “no pedestrians” but no way to get into the building. I was getting panicked and frustrated. I hate being late.
Good thing I had my trusty-yet-extremely-rarely-used cell phone. I called CB, but the connection cut off. He immediately called back and I was too freakin’ STUPID to figure out how to even answer the phone. Stupid stupid stupid! I pressed button after button and somehow managed to silence the ringer, but never did actually answer the phone. I love making a great first impression.
I called him back and that time the connection worked and we had a wonderful time figuring out how to get to each other. He wanted to know where I was and I told him and he started telling me to go north and west and such and I wanted to cry because I don’t know how to go north! Which way is north? I don’t carry a compass with me!
It turns out we were less than half a block away from each other. I just needed to go down an ugly service road and an open-air mall revealed itself to me.
It’s so funny. He hadn’t really changed at all and I feel like I have changed tremendously but who knows. Maybe I haven’t. Despite my stupidity with the phone and the directions, there was no awkwardness. We were really good friends for the last two and a half years of college and we just picked up right where we left off. Unlike me, he is an excellent keeper-upper with people and had all sorts of gossip for me. We were both surprised at just how few people we actually remember and we both found it nice to realize that we didn’t miss the college days at all.
He is a staunch conservative and works for The Administration. I was worried this might be a problem, but he is still one of the nicest people I know and is very down to earth and has a great sense of humor. We were both able to poke fun at our politics and it wasn’t an issue at all. Frankly, I thought he had never e-mailed me back after our initial contact a few months ago because he found my blog and read my liberal ranting. He is the head of an agency that makes sure faith-based groups get money for sex ed–one of my hot button topics. Turns out he just was trying to e-mail me at an out of date e-mail address so there was no problem. Now I feel dumb for not following up with him. I just didn’t want to seem to be needy or clingy. Plus I’m shy.
It was really nice to talk to someone who remembered me from the college days. Really, no one in my current life knows my college self. I lived far, far away from my family and didn’t let them into my inner life. By the time I met Mike I was more of a grown-up and out of the academic world. My college years were spent as the “smart one” and CB seemed genuinely shocked when I told him Mike is a lot smarter than me. He said he didn’t think that was possible. I know I’m a freak to care so much, but for years my only sense of self-worth came from my grades and intelligence and it was nice to get a little ego pat like that.
I was also reminded that I used to be kind of evil. I’m not one to seek attention or be a strong leader, but in college I had a way of moving strings behind the scenes and making things happen. I went to a very small school (419 full time students) so it was easy to be a big fish in a little pond. I was yearbook editor for two years, so I knew everything that was happening and had close relations with a lot of the people who planned things. I was like the spider sitting in middle of a vast web, pulling a little string there and a big string here. I had sort of forgotten that I’d helped orchestrate the downfall of the student body president. I think I’m a little more mature now.
So that was that. I had a great time and I really hope we get together a little more often from now on. It’s hard to imagine that we are now living in the same town. I still can’t believe I just happened to see him riding his bike on the National Mall. That’s how this whole meeting got started. I saw him and then found him on google. He talked about googling people from college and I am mortified to think of the things he found on me. I have lots of crappy stuff up from a few years back when I was totally into Wheel of Time. It’s cringe-worthy stuff. These days I am more careful with my online presence. People can find Mosaic Minds if they know my married name, but they would have a hard time finding this site unless they were really in hot pursuit. I just wish there was a way to go and clear out all that old junk, but I guess it’s there forever. Good thing I’m not job hunting.
And now I guess I better get back to pulling big words out of nowhere, trying to put together an article with no thesis statement.
On a completely different note, I really love the google spell check option that this laptop computer has. I have HotLingo on the other computer and it doesn’t have a very extensive dictionary. I need to figure out how to get the spell check on the other computer.