Queen of Rambles

Do I really need to buy a video on how to bathe a baby? Do I really need to pay good money for an article about whether it is safe for me to sleep on my back during pregnancy? Do I really need the ten thousand other things that the baby industry is trying […]

I’m such a lazy person that I’ve let three “taggings” add up for the past several weeks. Since there is absolutely nothing going on in my life right now, other than a slow death from tuberculosis*, now’s the perfect time to see if I can even remember where to find all the memes I […]

This is shaping up to be a GREAT WEEKEND! I can’t breathe! My nose is redder than an alcoholics! I have zits everywhere! Why, I think I may just go put on a formal gown and find something fancy to do in DC. They must have fancy things because every […]

I did something very bad today. I drew a gigantic penis on the white board and called it a Movie-O-Meter. The kids didn’t know what I was drawing, they just knew that it had something to do with them being quiet. When I was finished I heard most of the kids saying […]

My husband’s leaving me. I’m totally depressed and lonely. He takes off for France via Sweden tomorrow and will be gone a whole week. What am I supposed to do with myself for a whole week?
And he probably isn’t even going to take full advantage of his two days in Sweden, which makes […]

I’m not the fittest person in the world, so I don’t think I have a hope in hell of surviving the rest of the week. Day one in the first grade was horrible horrible horrible. I’ve subbed this class many times and have never had a major problem, but they have a new […]

I think I may very well go insane this week. Four days of first grade. Four. Days. Why oh why did I agree to this? I love the class. I’ve subbed for them many times. The teacher is very well organized and leaves good plans that the kids enjoy. […]

When did it become so hard to write a simple little article?
Where is my creativity?
Where is the flow?
Where where where where?
Now Mike is calling me Nancy Kerrigan and saying “why why why why?” because he thinks I’m a whiner. Interesting that one of those silly blogthing memes named my boobies Nancy Kerrigan and […]

Yesterday was a day of the unexpected. There’s an apartment finder office in the little strip mall across the way, so we decided to check it out. My new philosophy in life is “What’s the worst that can happen?” and the worst that could happen would have been realizing it was some sort […]

Prevention is my new favorite magazine, which makes me laugh. I’ve come a long way from the days of reading the recycled bullshit put forth by Glamour and Cosmo. Now it’s cutting edge articles that all say the same thing: eat less, exercise more, lose weight. It does have some good tips […]