Queen of Rambles

This is shaping up to be a GREAT WEEKEND! I can’t breathe! My nose is redder than an alcoholics! I have zits everywhere! Why, I think I may just go put on a formal gown and find something fancy to do in DC. They must have fancy things because every mall here has at least one formal wear shop with pretty dresses on display. I think if I would have seen just how pretty a turquoise dress could be, I would have worn one to my wedding.

Today was a typical Friday in first grade land–hyper hyper hyper! It about drove me insane and I had no voice left by the end of the day. Good thing I had my whistle so I was able to express my displeasure.

You know what’s really sad? I took a movie and was planning on letting them spend the afternoon cuddled up with their pillows, shoes off, watching Ariel fall in love with her prince. I put up the Movie-O-Meter and tried SO DAMNED HARD to fill it up, but the kids just wouldn’t cooperate. They ended up with four points out of 9. Pathetic. You’d almost think they didn’t want to have fun. Instead they got to do math worksheet after math worksheet. Fun! I’m just glad the teacher left a bundle of extras for me. I was so tempted to just say “screw it” and throw the movie on, since my throat was hurting so badly, but they were acting so wild that I just couldn’t justify giving them a reward.

I almost feel half-way bad about the day because I made three, count ‘em, THREE kids cry. Aren’t I an evil witch? But seriously, how hard is it to not wave your hand right in the teacher’s face, babbling a question that makes no sense, after you’ve been told three times to SIT THE FUCK DOWN? Ok, so the F word wasn’t in there, but it came pretty close to coming out of my mouth. Yup, I was a real Mary Poppins today.

I have a job lined up for Wednesday, which I can’t believe I took. It’s middle school. It’s picnic day. I’m supposed to wear shorts. I hope it’s too hot for the kids to be humping in the bushes. I don’t want to pull anyone apart.

I talked to Mike and he hasn’t gotten any moose patties yet. Instead, he’s had crayfish. GAG GAG GAG. It’s a very good thing I’m not with him because I could not sit in the same room and see bugs of the sea being eaten without puking. And, of course, everyone would insist that I at least try them because that is what people do.

Speaking of nasty fish things, I did the grossest thing every today. I have been feeding the fish at school all week which I hate doing. That’s quite possibly one of the worst things about this job. Many of the teachers have fish and I have to feed them when they are gone. True, none of them have jumped out and touched me yet, but they COULD! Anyway, I fed the fish and then on my way home forgot I had touched the fish food and stuck my finger in my mouth to push on my swollen gum. I don’t know how I managed not to puke from the taste of fishy nastiness in my mouth. My stomach is turning just thinking of it.

Yes, yes, I have issues. It could be worse. My phobia could be flying or cats or the number 8.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 17th, 2005 at 3:44 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.