Queen of Rambles

I’m sitting here trying to write an article, but it’s impossible when I don’t have a single idea to anchor it. Usually if I have a kernel of thought I can up the wattage on the BullShitGenerator and be done in a half hour. The old BSG can’t function without that kernel, though, so I’m stuck pounding my head into the desk. I’m going to wear a big dent into my forehead and then I’ll look funny, so I better come up with that kernel soon!

I talked to my grandma for over an hour tonight and didn’t get angry a single time! I must have been in one damned fine mood because she did her usual bit about how Mike is going to leave me because I make him cook his own dinner and I make him visit my family in Oregon. I’m a controlling, bossy witch and he’s going to up and leave me at any moment. Instead, I just egged her on and laughed. I did tell her that I didn’t like visiting his family in Sweden any more than he liked visiting my family in Oregon (and I don’t think it’s that either of us actively dislike doing those things, but they are certainly not trips we would take if we were independent) and that slowed her down. I don’t know why I found this assault so amusing tonight, but I did. She has no idea how happy we both are. I don’t even think she can comprehend love, so of course she thinks I must be a horrible harridan who abuses her poor, sweet husband. It’s funny, really.

She also had to inform me that my mother is STEALING from me! The horror, the horror! Apparently when we got married the caterers sent some of the left over food home in a plastic containers. I sort of recall this. They were not extraordinary plastic containers. No, not extraordinary at all. In fact, they were disposable if I remember correctly. They ended up at my grandma’s house and she’s been saving them all this time. She must have forgot them this summer because she never mentioned them, but apparently this week she realized they were in her way and she couldn’t possibly continue storing them so she asked me mom if she would package them up and mail them to us. Remember, these are disposable plastic food containers. She wants my mom to pack them up and mail them across the country? Whatever.

So my mom took them, but instead of mailing them to us like she was supposed to, she gave them to Braxton, my 8 month old nephew, who is enjoying beating the hell out of them. One cracked! The other will at any moment! I’ve been robbed!

I suppose it is nice that she’s so concerned about my possessions. She sure didn’t seem to be all that concerned when she let my sister loot all the household goods I had stored in her garage. TV, boom box, crock pot, pictures. . . who knows what else. It’s the TV and the boom box I’m especially irritated about, but I guess I have gotten over it. Maybe.

I guess I better get to work. Too bad I love procrastinating so much.

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 27th, 2005 at 5:55 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.