Queen of Rambles

I know I can’t be the only one who watched in horrid fascination as a sportscaster-esqe deep-voiced male gave play by play reporting action as woman after woman gave birth.

Apparently “Birth Day Live” is a popular event on one of the Discovery channels. I’ve never even heard of it, but found myself entranced. The births all looked the same, but their presentation was so bizarre that I had to wonder if someone was playing a huge joke on the emotionally charged women of America.

Cameras were set up in three hospitals across the nation, with several reporters at each one. A male voice-over would explain the circumstances of each birth, becoming more and more excited as the woman pushed harder and harder. He’d sometimes go to other reporters, with a typical “over to you, Mary” where they would talk to anxious relatives. When the baby was born, it’s stats would flash up on the screen like a score. Periodically a real scoreboard would pop up, listing how many babies were born at each hospital. Unless you’ve actually seen the show, you can’t possibly imagine how utterly absurd the whole thing seemed. There is no way they will ever convince me that they didn’t base their format off an ESPN show. I knew I was right when one of the sportscasters announced that the nurses at one hospital were using a zone defense to handle all the babies (one nurse/patient). I kid you not. The words ZONE DEFENSE were uttered on a show about birthing babies. And the really sad thing? One of the hospitals is LOCAL!

And now are you ready to be shocked? A few weeks ago my mom told me that she thought my sister was pregnant. My sister, denied it, but my mom insisted that she was pregnant and had a due date of August 8th. That’s 13 short months after my sister’s first baby was born. My sister thought she was nuts because her friend told her you can’t get pregnant after you give birth until you have a period and she had not had a period yet. Her friend was breastfeeding. My sister was not. Even if she was, breastfeeding is not a very effective birth control method, so that’s neither here nor there.

I found out today that my sister is in the hospital indefinitely. She took a pregnancy test last week at the insistence of my mother and found out that she was, indeed, pregnant. Personally, the thought makes me gag because that means she is having unprotected sex with the gross being she calls her boyfriend. I know she’s pretty slutty but it looks like she should have some standards. Don’t you think a guy with prison tattoos that spell out HATE across his knuckles should be low on the “let him squirt his diseased grossness into me” list? She’s going to get AIDS or something. Ewww ewww ewww.

Anyway, she is due August 10, just 1 month after her first baby has his one year birthday. Can you even imagine? Her diabetes is a real problem this time. When she went in on Friday her blood sugar was 240. They gave her some insulin and it dropped down to 28. They admitted her immediately despite her reluctance and they plan to keep her until she stabilizes. They have no idea how long that might be.

My sister didn’t want my mom to tell me. She thought I would be mad at her. I am kind of mad at her, but not for the reason she believed. She thought I would be mad that she was stealing my thunder, but that never occurred to me. I would probably be extremely pissed if I wasn’t pregnant and rail against the God who would allow people like her to breed with ease, but that’s not the case so I don’t need to have those emotions. Instead, I’m just mad that she is so damned stupid and makes really bad choices. Her man wants to move to Portland and she’s actually considering it and that would be a horrible fiasco, just like when she moved down to New Mexico? When is she going to learn? When is she going to throw out the scumbag who uses her for sex and money? She pays all the bills. He does nothing but lounge around and boss her around. She’s miserable when he’s around, according to my mom, and I believe it. I saw how he treats her. He’s a sociopath and abusive and I know there are all sorts of reasons that women put up with that shit, but since I’m not the type that ever would it’s as frustrating as hell to watch. And now she’s having another baby with him? We all thought he would get bored and tired of dealing with my sister and a baby, but thus far he’s sticking around for the free ride. Maybe if she does an extended stay in the hospital and can’t pay the bills he’ll take off (he says he LOOOOVES his son and wants to be near him. Guess who has the baby while my sister is laid up? My mom. Guess who never even considered taking him? The man who claims to LOOOOVE him so much.)

This entry was posted on Saturday, February 26th, 2005 at 7:31 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.