Queen of Rambles

• Cats are even smarter than I thought. Our cat has somehow disabled her bell and is now fully capable of bringing birds in the house again.
• Doing the crazy “a bird is in the house and I’m a wussy girl” dance doesn’t get the bird out of the house any faster. In fact, I think it scares the bird.
• If you fall into a lake you might get water stuck in your ear. Using a vacuum or even a shop vac to suck out the water is not effective. Neither was using rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide, but it’s not nearly as much fun to talk about. How many of you can say “I’ve got to go vacuum my dad’s ear now” to your friends?
• Ripping off half your fingernail hurts like H-E-Double hockey sticks.
• Living in Washington DC is going to be crazy expensive! I found a really friendly LiveJournal community and they have given me the low down to some extent. It looks like Alexandria or Arlington are the best places to be. I’m going to have to give up my idea of modest living and just realize that if I don’t want to be murdered or gang raped we’re going to have to pay through the nose for amenities we don’t even need. There’s apparently no such thing as “normal.” It’s either the ghetto or a place with a pool and a fitness center. I guess we consider our gym fees as a part of our rent it sounds a little better.
• If you never water your plants they will die. Perhaps I shouldn’t have children. What if I forget to feed them? Of course, if the plants would just cry out in pain and frustration I might feed them once in a while. It’s their own damned fault I can’t remember! Evolution should give house plants a voice!
• Never take my grandma out in public. She got in a yelling match with some ladies at the quilt show today. They were selling raffle tickets to a butterfly quilt but they were sitting at a table with a Dutch doll quilt. This led to great confusion and embarrassment. Did she buy raffle tickets? No. Was she planning on buying raffle tickets? No.
• I should never, ever, ever go off my diet. I feel sick.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 26th, 2004 at 10:38 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.