I want to write
I’ve been struck with the writing bug today. I can picture myself sitting in a little cafe, furiously typing away on a handy little laptop. I want to tell stories. I want to share words. I want to be a real, honest-to-goodness writer. Too bad I usually let laziness and fear conspire against me and don’t do a darned thing about the desires. I have three books in various states of being that I should work on, but I’m at the point where I would have to reread them to know what the heck is going on and that’s too embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as reading the old love letters I used to e-mail Mike before we moved in together, but still pretty danged embarrassing. I actually started reading some of the material for my “adventures in Swedeland” book but I found it all completely nauseating. Why do I always have to be my own worst enemy?
I did fifty minutes on the elliptical today, all while watching Amazing Cakes on the Food Network. Ironic, isn’t it? I came to a horrifying realization. Mike and I didn’t eat cake on our first year anniversary! I thought freezing a cake for a year sounded like a pretty absurd notion so we ate our top tier on our wedding night. The plan was to simply get a new cake for ourselves for our anniversary but that never happened. In fact Mike wasn’t even here for the anniversary. We had a nice dinner 11 days late, and we didn’t even get each other first anniversary gifts. It sounds like we hate each other or something, doesn’t it? We are both just terrible with stuff like that. We only manage to celebrate birthdays because they involve cake and I am not one to let a cake eating opportunity slip by. So now should I go and get us a cake tomorrow because I deserve cake, or do I stick to my diet? I think I’m going to shock myself and say “stick to the diet.” I know I have really bad body image issues. I can’t see myself as anything other than a gigantic mountain troll with big blubbers of fat hanging off me while my face oozes nasty, green pimples. Logically I can tell myself that I’m not that bad. In fact, at this moment I am at my thinnest. I haven’t been this thin since elementary school (I got my height very young).
Anyway, Mike and are bad celebrants. We know some couples coming up on their first anniversaries who were freaking out about what to buy for each other and all that stuff. Mike and I just kind of gave each other a guilty “whoops” look and steered clear of the conversation. My theory is that we show each other we love each other every single day. We don’t need a special day to mark the occasion. Sounds good, right?
In other news, it sounds like I am going to be an aunt by next weekend. My sister’s diabetes has reared it’s ugly head once again and things are not going well. They are doing an amnio next week to make sure everything looks good, then will do a c-section. My mom wants me to fly down there for it, but it is just not going to happen right now. Things are too far up in the air. I feel kind of bad for not being there for my sister and for not throwing her a baby shower or anything, but she’s down there and who would I invite? She was sounding really sad on the phone yesterday that she didn’t get to have a baby shower. I guess if I ever go down and visit I could throw her a belated one with just me and my mother as the guests. I don’t think that’s what she has in mind though. Having a baby is expensive business and she really doesn’t have anyone to help defray the costs. Her situation just breaks my heart, but she brings this all on herself so it’s so hard!
And now for the quilt report: I got the danged thing quilted today and just have the binding left. I did some free motion spirals in the center of the squares and it was a lot of fun! They don’t look perfect, but quilts aren’t supposed to look perfect. I can’t wait to do a whole quilt in free motion stippling. I will have to get a better brand of thread, though. I bought some multi-color machine quilting thread and it kept snapping when it was on green. I was ready to throw it out the window, but I messed with the tension and it stopped, finally. After that started happening, I remembered I had vowed never to use that brand again because the same thing happened to me on my first quilt. I used other thread on the next two and didn’t have the problem.