Can I Type?
The finger is still sore when I type, but it is doing much better in general. I’m sure you’re all breathing a big sigh of relief.
I’m breathing a big sigh of relief! No school tomorrow! My day will be taken up with writing, so this finger better straighten out fast or I’ll have to be creative and somehow write six articles that don’t contain the letters e, d, or c. Doable? I think not.
I am so tired of myself. The other night a lady was standing at the front desk at the Y, just waiting for the 12 week challenge people to come sign the paper. She pounced and made me do my body fat measurements even though I said I didn’t want to. I think I shocked her, but I knew it was going to be bad and I really, really did not want to know how bad. As long as I didn’t have solid proof I could convince myself the extra poundage was all muscle. I’ve been working out consistently for the past three months, only to get the wonderful report back today: Five pounds of extra fat, 2 pounds of extra lean body mass. I hate me. I really do.
I’ll admit I went crazy with the sweets there for awhile. I know the secret to weight loss. It’s not that hard to understand. There is no magical potion or secret handshake. Burn more calories than you consume. That’s it. That’s all. And I have simply been consuming way too many calories. I hate myself for it. Why can’t I control myself? Why can’t I say no?
I’m trying to make a new start. I haven’t had any sugar or snacks since Monday, and I think I am over the initial stage of intense cravings. It’s so hard when they have cookies in the staff room every day. I do everything I can to avoid that room, but it’s the room with the bottled water and the tap water tastes really bad. Excuses, excuses. I resisted all this week though. Now to survive a weekend.
I know it’s boring to read about someone’s weight struggles, especially when they defeat themselves at every turn. It’s what’s on my mind, though so that’s what you get to read about.
Nothing much going on otherwise. School has been good because the gossip lady didn’t come back. Someone heard she is not going to come back at all because she was approved to be a foster parent. She apparently told them that foster parents get $2000/kid, which must be total BS. How could the state possibly afford to pay that? I know they do get paid enough to cover basic expenses, but I just can not even imagine a family getting that sort of money. Maybe the do though. What do I know? I should call and ask. If they are pulling in that sort of money I don’t know why there aren’t more people doing it. You could take in four kids, get a nice house with the money, insurance and still have enough to sock away for retirement. That’s why it makes no sense. The state simply doesn’t have that kind of money to throw around. The woman is a total liar anyway so I’m sure this is just another of her stories.
I can tell tomorrow is going to be a bad day. My finger is killing me now!