Hell Bound Heathen
I think I’ve just been disowned. Granny dearest called and wanted me, Mikey and Mommy to go to church and the fellowship potluck with her tomorrow. Can I say yuck? I might have been persuaded to just go to church, but I don’t do potlucks. Especially not at that church. When I was younger we did a lot of different fund raising things and charitable activities that landed me smack dab in middle of the kitchens of these people. I never went to a potluck there again. The older I get the less inclined I am to eat out of a stranger’s kitchen.
I told dear Granny that I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t say “tomorrow” just “I don’t want to go to church.” She freaked out. Why does she always have to freak out?
“Do you mean you don’t want to go tomorrow or you never want to go?” she asked with a level of shrillness that I can’t even begin to explain.
“Well, frankly, I really never want to go to that church.” I don’t know why I decided on honesty, but that’s honestly how I feel.
“What? What?” She was like a little hoot owl, only not with whos.
“I just don’t like that church. It doesn’t fit my needs.” How could I possibly explain that I find most of the people there, her included, to be the biggest hypocrites I’ve ever met in my life. And the hugging. I’m not down with the hugging. These two old ladies stand by the door and hug everyone who walks in. There’s no escape from their powdery-scented hugs. I don’t like being touched by strangers.
Grandma was not at all happy, which confuses me. She never went to church when I was a kid. She started when I was in college. She doesn’t go because she loves Jesus. She goes to avoid hell. It’s just a strange way to live in my opinion. If you go you should believe. If you don’t believe you shouldn’t go. I, personally, want to believe but have a very hard time doing so.
The phone call ended with the iron clad decision that I’m a hell bound heathen. Being told I’m going to hell makes me even less likely to want to go to church, though I don’t know why. It seems to be a motivator for other people. I guess I’m just contrary.
Other than that, today has been great. I bought a bunch of really cheap quilting fabric, had a fabulous Italian dinner and a wonderful chocolate mousse cake. Also saw a perfectly terrible movie (Ladykillers) but am trying to forget that part of the day.
You know, maybe hell would do me some good. My butt is always freezing so I’d like a little warm-up.
March 28th, 2004 at 5:46 pm
See, you and my mom would work out fine together. She hates church. I go, but not all the time, and the church I go to is very relaxed and nice. In any case, I’ll tell her that I am going to church, and she’ll make some comment like, “Oh to hear a sermon from Reverend Pervert?” Yeah, she’s a little annoyed with catholic priests.
March 28th, 2004 at 7:48 pm
Hell is where the fun people will be anyway!! LOL The fire and brimstone part of organized religion makes me sick. I think I’d rather go to hell than be Catholic or Baptist, etc.