Queen of Rambles

How did I miss my 300th entry at QoR? Of course, that doesn’t count all my diary-x entries, so who knows how many I really have. Strange that entry 300 would take place to close to my 2 year blog-o-vesry. Wednesday is that big day, just in case anyone cares. It feels like I’ve been doing this for a whole lot longer than that.

I implemented my point system today and the kids are totally excited. I printed out little point papers after much, much frustration last night, so it was nice to see all that hard work rewarded. I only put three prizes on my little poster (stickers, candy and pencils) so the kids wanted to know what they’d get if they saved up 50 points. I said I’d get them a big candy bar if they managed that but one little girl said she wanted a book. I totally laughed because that’s exactly what I would have wanted! I told her if she saved up 50 I’d get her a book and the other kids thought that was totally nuts. Who’d want a book if you can have candy? Me, me!

I finally got back into my exercise routine tonight with a trip to the pool. The week I started (right after New Years) it was packed every night and everyone was talking about their resolutions. There were four of us tonight. Guess those resolutions didn’t last that long. Maybe I’ll be able to win something in this 12 week challenge after all, though that will require a cease and desist order when it comes to the sweets.

It’s getting to be crunch time for my MM articles, so I actually managed to finish a first draft tonight! I can only write under pressure so I guess it’s a good thing I’m starting to feel the pressure today instead of Saturday (when they’re due). One down, 4.5 to go (since I have another written but am not at all happy with it). Now I want to share it and have people tell me what I need to fix! Mike said it sounds good like it is, but he is blinded by his overwhelming love for me so it possibly not objective. Though he must like my writing at least a little since that’s how we met.

I had something I was going to say, but now I can’t remember what. It was a rant I think. Obviously it must not have had me that upset if I can’t even think of it now.

Yesterday I noticed people had been searching the queen of rambles data base for the terms belch, burp and fart. Does that mean I use those terms too much? Am I a freako? I came up with 2 hits for each belch and burp but 11 hits for fart. I’m such a lady.

I read one of them and it really got me to thinking. It was written in August when I was really depressed and unhappy with my life. I had what many might consider the “perfect” life–not working, plenty of money, decent place to live, newlywed. . . yet I just couldn’t seem to pull it together.

These days I’m working a low-paying job, living in a place I would prefer not to be living, watching the savings account slowly trickle away yet I’m extremely happy. I think working (and I count parenting as working) is something that’s totally necessary to our mental health. Knowing that I’m contributing something to the world I live in makes me happy, even if that contribution is just teaching some kids how to count by 10s. My self-worth has soared in the past week, all due to the feeling of productivity. I suppose it also helps that I’m able to talk to anyone at any time without struggling for the correct words (and sounding like a six year old) or being forced to excuse myself and speak English even though I’d lived in the country over two years. At least I’m putting that feeling to good use when dealing with some of the Spanish speaking kids! Now I feel their pain and try to make things as easy as possible instead of getting frustrated and leaving them hanging.

I better stop ruminating about how great things are and go to bed! Maybe that’s why I’m not depressed. I simply don’t have time to think of all the things I want and need. I’m going full force from 6:30 am to 10 pm so I don’t have time to get into the whole “am I self-actualized?” discussion.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 10th, 2004 at 7:01 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.