Queen of Rambles

When you see an ad in the paper for “Dinner and a Show” what do you think that means? Do you think it means dinner and a whole show or dinner and “enough scenes from the show to make you curious about the real show but you’ll have to go a different weekend and pay a lot more money if you are that curious.”

So tonight we thought we were going out for a romantic and fun evening at the local Italian restaurant. When I was a teenager my friend worked for a different Italian restaurant (till it was rumbled down in an earthquake) and they often put on murder mystery dinners. Sometimes I would go. Sometimes I would serve. Either way, it was always a real hoot even though the acting wasn’t exactly first class.

That’s what I thought we were going to tonight.

Nope. We went to “dinner and a preview.” The preview wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t what I was expecting. And there was no romance at all. The place was packed and noisy and our table was so wide that we could barely hear each other.

All I do is complain, isn’t it? I hope that doesn’t mean I’m turning into my grandma. I’ve decided that if Hell really exists there won’t be fire and brimstone. Instead, there will be little Melbas all over the place, bitching everyone out for everything they’ve done in their life. Seriously, I can’t think of anything much worse than that.

But this post isn’t about her and her hell-hound ways. This post is about our dinner and a “preview.”

Actually, I guess I’m done telling that story. Unless, of course, you want to know about my ridiculous beauty preparations.

The problem is, when we moved from Sweden I threw out almost everything that I didn’t have a clear and present need for. I kept my most expensive make-up, my shampoo, my soap, and stuff like that, but I threw out all my make-up that was crumbling, all my hair spray, hair gel, hair wax, and other stuff like that. I haven’t replaced any of it. My hair is so short that it generally looks cute and spunky if I just blow dry it. I love short hair. Love it love it love it.

Anyway, I realized about an hour before we were supposed to be at the restaurant that I had to actually try and look nice. Panic ensued. Then I figured out that wearing make-up is not about actually looking nice. It’s about making people think you look nice. A subtle difference, don’t you think? Or perhaps I’m crazy. This led to some weird improvising which left me with lipstick on my cheeks and a lovely mussed hair do. I looked hot. I don’t have pictures to prove it, so you’ll just have to trust me. I figure that if Jamie Lee Curtis can look like a hot prostitute by dipping her head in vase water (True Lies) I can look hot by not dipping my head in vase water.

Of course, they had to serve tomato sauce with the pasta so I didn’t look hot for long. I just looked like a dork with red splotches on my boobies. Typical.

I don’t know where this sudden burst of “I look hot” philosophy is coming from. I’ve never in my life thought I looked anything but ugly, but lately I’ve decided I have a nice face. Could this mean I’m happy? Accepting myself? Completely insane? Who knows.

I still lack self-confidence in other areas so you don’t need to get out the big pin yet. Today I realized something and I really need to incorporate it into my life. I’m sure lots of psychologists and talk show hosts have already spread the message, but it just hit me today. People who think they are smart and can do anything generally do anything. People who don’t believe they can do it, don’t do it. I have a lot of things that I want to do but I’m almost paralyzed by fear when it comes to actually doing them. I think if I just do them I’ll be successful and happy. I just need to take the first steps and not expect failure.

That’s a long way from dinner and a show, isn’t it? Maybe I should put on my own dinner show. Except I don’t have a restaurant and I’m utterly uninterested in putting on any sort of a show.

Whew! That’s one less plan I have to worry about implementing. Implementing plans is hard work.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 25th, 2004 at 7:31 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.