Queen of Rambles

Not sure what to write about today. I just got back from aqua-jogging and think I’m going to have to have a little chat with someone somewhere about the useless teacher. She’s 16. I think that pretty much explains it. I’m not saying that a 16 year old can’t be a good teacher, but this particular 16 is a very typical teenager. She just looks bored, unmotivated and clue less. They might as well just put up a poster that describes the workout and forget about the girl. She doesn’t even know how to do any of the exercises. Her leg was hurting so she was outside of the pool (I think the teacher’s should always be outside of the pool) and she actually tried to explain the stretches but couldn’t really do it standing. I suggested she grab a chair and use it for balance and she looked at me like I’d grown a third head. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Oh well. There’s always got to be something for me to complain about, doesn’t there? Life has been very good to us these past few weeks, even if we are starting to get cabin fever. It’s a good thing Mosaic Minds is keeping me busy. We’ve got to start making some money since I, for one, am working on this so much that I don’t know how I’d have time for a full time job anyway.

SAJ made a comment that she was finding my dad quite likeable. I had to laugh when I read that because he is quite likeable. Everyone thinks he’s a big cute cuddly teddy bear. He loves animals and wouldn’t ever hurt a dog or cat (though he obviously kills wild animals). He helps old people with their plumbing. These days he dotes on any little kids that happen to be around. No one understands why my mom left him since he seems so nice when he’s out in public. He honestly never abused my mom or us kids, so it is difficult for outsiders to understand.

Basically, he’s annoying. It’s annoying to be around someone who’s brain has soaked up enough alcohol to preserve a whole army of mummies. It’s annoying to be around someone who talks way too loud about the same few things over and over and over again. It’s annoying to be around someone who’s farts are toxic and constant. It’s annoying to be around someone who spends his money on beer instead of important things like clothing or his children’s educations.

I wouldn’t say he wrecked my childhood. He simply didn’t contribute anything to it. He paid the bills but didn’t set aside anything extra. Plumbers make a lot of money. We could have had a big house in a nice neighborhood with new cars and lots of extras. Instead, all his extra money went into his hobbies, his toys, his pleasure. We weren’t starving or anything, but it just could have been better.

These days he feels really bad about missing our childhood and has tried to apologize in his dysfunctional way. He hands me a hundred dollar bill every once in a while as if that will make up for the wrongs in my past. Honestly, at the time I didn’t even know that some of the things were wrong. I didn’t know that normal dads went to soccer games and assemblies. I didn’t know normal dads spent time with the family on the weekends. I didn’t know normal dads helped with homework and talked to teachers. It just was not a part of my life. I thought dads went to work during the days, came home and farted in the evenings and then went out hunting every weekend.

These days I just feel really sorry for the man. He drives me insane, but I don’t harbor the anger and resentment toward him that a lot of people might. I figure he’s getting his own “reward” for his behaviour. He’s only 54 but he can barely walk. He should be enjoying his prime of life, not sitting at home living month to month on disability checks. He should have some aches and pains from arthritis and be watching his fat in-take, not living with excruciating pain from a hip replacement, knee replacement, two badly healed broken ankles, and various other problems. He never expected to live past the age of 30. He never took care of his body. Now he’s paying the price.

So that’s part of the story. Maybe tomorrow I’ll share the story of his childhood. It’s a very sad tale that makes me want to cry and hit someone when I hear it. I think that’s a big part of the reason I have patience with him today. His first 14 years were hell on earth. He had many, many good years after that so it doesn’t excuse him but it does explain him.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 22nd, 2004 at 6:54 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.