Queen of Rambles

Forget about being Queen of Rambles. Today all the zits of the world are paying me homage by sitting on my face. Ugh. I guess it has to do with cleaning out my system of illness, but man is it nasty. I used to be quite the pimple queen in high school, but in my dotage I’ve grown used to having just one or two pimples at any one time. Today I’m growing goiters off my neck. Nasty.

I felt much better today so headed to the pool for water aerobics. I think the head cold has killed off part of my brain because things did not go well. I got down to the lobby of the apartment and noticed my coat was really feeling odd. They tend to do that when you forget to put on a shirt. What’s wrong with me? I was wearing a swimsuit and a pair of pants. At least I had the coat on I guess.

Then when I got home I panicked because my keys were totally gone. I knew I had to have them because I checked the mail (we have a locked box). Finally I went down to the mail box and found my keys hanging out of the lock.

Last week I was feeling smug about my water aerobics routine. I was having a very hard time getting my heart rate up to an acceptable level even though I was working so hard I couldn’t breathe. Today I could barely jog in place. The geriatric crowd was kicking my butt. I guess that’s what happens when you are sick. Hopefully I get back in shape quickly.

Do you want to hear something creepily odd about the geriatric crowd? I always am the last person in line because I’m always the tallest so go way into the deep end. When we turn around and run toward the shallow end I can see the backs’ of all the old ladies’ heads. I swear they all get their hair cut at the same place because from the back they all look exactly the same (barring some color and curling issues). It’s positively frightening. I don’t fit in well–my hair goes down to my shoulders. Maybe I need a hair cut.

In fact, I know I need a hair cut. I need a whole hair style. I need Oprah or those gay guys or someone to come and give me a complete make-over. It’s amazing what the right hair style can do for a person. And clothes. I really need the right clothes. I guess when we move back to the States I’m going to have to get a good style and start wearing make-up and something other than baggy t-shirts and jeans (assuming I get a job).

What else?

I’ve been crocheting like a maniac today. Photographic evidence of my improvement:

I don’t know how to make the ends look normal, but I do think I have the basic idea figured out. Now I’m wanting to actually make something–maybe a hat or something.

Here’s what I wonder: How did the first person who crocheted something come up with the idea? It’s hard enough for me to teach myself how to do this from Internet instructions, but how does a person just come up with this idea? Was it a really bored lady with a ball of string and a metal hook? Who thinks of these things? Who thinks of lots of things, for that matter? How did the first person come up with the idea for string? Who decided to cut the fur off a sheep, card the wool, make a spinning wheel, make a big string, then make a loom and make cloth? That’s a lot of different processes (processi?) to go through to get one piece of material. I like to read books about being going back in time and sharing modern technology with old fashioned people, but honestly what could your average Joe actually share? The gift of fire? Unless I have a lighter or a match, that ain’t happenin’. I guess I could teach them about the need to boil water to get rid of germs. I certainly couldn’t teach them how to harness electricity or anything complex like that. I couldn’t even teach them how to thread a sewing machine. I have no skills. Maybe I could figure out how to make a printing press? Hmmmm. Nope. I kind of doubt that. I would be useless.

This entry is taking a rather odd turn. I wanted to talk about my crazy Grandma. She called me today and told me I should be really considerate of Mike since he has to move all his possessions to another country just to make me happy. She didn’t seem to realize that they aren’t “his” possessions. They are “our” possessions. She’s such a woman hater.

Then we got on the topic of my cousin and his new baby. The baby was a preemie so has been in the neonatal unit in a town about an hour from his town. His wife has been staying there but he has a blue collar job so has to work during the week. My grandma just can’t believe that he works 4 days a week, 10 hours a day, then takes the time to drive “all the way” to the city to see his wife and baby. Why doesn’t he just take some time to relax? She seems to be missing a very main concept–it’s his baby and his wife! I wonder if the woman has ever experienced true love in her lifetime. It’s kind of sad, really. I think I’m glad I didn’t live in the “good old days” if the good old days were just about male domination. Life is very good for me in these modern times even if the world does seem to be falling apart at the seams. I don’t know if I could deal with a world where my husband wanted a maid instead of a life partner. I guess not every marriage was like that, but it sure does seem like a lot of them had that basis.

And now it is time to go and see if I can make any more progress on my toe blanket.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 18th, 2003 at 9:01 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.